of white and purple goddess

2012-01-24T00:34:00.001+08:00

My husband is such an amazing man. It's been 3 years and yet, he's still as gentle and sweet like ever.
He should won the medal of, the most supportive man in the universe.

I've had my silly PMS days. And he's still cooperative.
He imagined me like a rainbow.
You know, it is still beautiful during the rainy days. If you got what i mean.

The last time i got to know he was angry was when he said, sorry, saya marah kejap tadi. And i was like, err when was that really.....? He was angry with a car driving like a maniac in front of him.

Once he patiently accompanied me in search of THE perfect attire for SIL's e-day in plaza masalam, pkns and sacc mall, all in one go. We really covered all floors and all shops. And i didn't buy any and i was pretty upset and disappointed (duh?). In the end i bought a gorgeous dress in Alamanda which he said it was stunning. But i wore my old clothes instead and he was still supportive.. Not a single word about buang masa pusing 3 shopping mall dalam satu masa pastu beli pulak kat Alamanda. I think i'm annoying and spoilt.

there was one night he suddenly played the OST of ombak rindu and hugged me tightly. For only about 2 minutes, since he didn't actually liked the song. Neither do i. :) but my chest tightened.

He has never missed to say, wow sedapnye bau awak masak, wow bersihnya tandas, wow rajinnya basuh baju. Etc etc. Those normal house chores that i've been doing for 3 years. Yet he's still complimenting as if everyday is the best. ;)

When i write all these, which is like a miniscule portion of it, i felt like i've done nothing compared to him. He has given me a lot and still feels like i need much more. The feeling is mutual. But i'm spoilt to the brim.

I am always so grateful to Allah for granting me a wonderful man to journey my life with.

~starting anew~

2012-01-08T00:39:00.001+08:00

Been realllllly busy, sorting out with my resignation stuffs at my beloved previous company (yep, am not gonna lie that i really miss my previous company like so much) and adapting and absorbing tonnes of knowledge within these few weeks at the new workplace.

Sounds hard but am llllllloving every second of it.

Somehow there was a bit of few pleasant reunions at my current company. So i guessed my teammates might be a litte astounded when different people dropped by at my cubicle every other day, and my occasional greetings with few others when we ran into each other.

IT companies, pusing2 orang sama jugak. :)

6 years at my previous company, my first company i've ever worked with.

And now i am moving on.

Hopefully i will make something out of my new career, insyaAllah.

~letters to miss J~

2011-12-19T20:54:00.000+08:00

I watched the movie "letters to Juliet", i think on last saturday.
I was alone at home, Izam's at work.
Please don't be surprised because that was my first time watching it so that's why i am pretty excited about it.

Well actually i was reading, lying upside down on the sofa in front of the tv.
And i was watching Nanny McPchee before that, with a capital M and a capital P. Hehe.
and then the movie letters to J started, and i ignored it and continued reading my book.
Then came the part where, Sophie was discussing with her boss about going to Verona, and somehow i got interested and told myself, lets watch romance movie once in a while, shall we? Yeah i do talk to myself, sila jangan seram.

And honestly...
Honestly i felt like i wanna roll to the kitchen and back because oh me oh my, the movie was sooooo romantic!!!

And SURPRISINGLY... It was like watching how me and Izam met and fell in love..

Danggg.. Harus saman ini producer haha.

Except that, we met in our previous company and we didnt't fall in love like within a week. And we were both were not engaged yet. But the rest were shockingly the same..

No wonder my friend said, i tengok movie ni tringat kat awak..

But i bet Izam will only last for 10 minutes the most, if i ask him to watch this movie hehe.

*tipu tipu manede lying upside down hehe.. :D

~day trip to universal studios singapore [2]~

2011-12-18T15:20:00.003+08:00

It was a really hot day, my thirst was never-ending, we drank endless bottles of water, and Izam finally surrendered to the ice cream booth for a temporary coolness.

While wandering around, met with some street performers.

We've done with touring the whole ground by 4.30 pm; and that included shopping and snapping pictures. And queueing for rides, of course.

We stopped for a rest, and prayed at the prayer room (note that there's no sign, it was a room beside the baby room) and kept some accumulated things into the locker just outside the entrance. Then we went out to buy some stuffs and snap pictures and back to USS. I tried reasoning with Izam to go to other places such as arab street or orchard street but he just wanted to spend the day in USS only so that's what we did. :)

Hence......we rode the transformers 3D ride again for the 2nd AND 3rd times hahaha. It was the best ride of all rides in USS and the best thing was, there was no queue anymore!! I think a lot of people went back already hehe. And i can proudly say that i didn't shriek anymore hehe siap clap hands lagi haha poyo.

So we tried other rides as well, some of it Izam just watched me playing alone by the sideline.

Yang ni tak naik because there was a signboard saying, please keep your belongings in the locker provided, so I KNOW straight away that its a roller coaster ride...........

I told you we lepak sampai malam hehe. Waterworld show was goooood, ada pictures but too sexy to release hehe.

I love this night picture of Shrek's palace.

Going for ANY rides.

And by 8 pm, we decided to journey back to Changi Airport for our flight back home. Our flight was at 11.35pm, we arrived at the airport around 9 pm. So we had plenty of time to get our dinner and some rest before checking in.

The flight was earlier than expected, hence we arrived at LCCT 10 minutes ahead of schedule. But I went to sleep immediately right before take off hehe. We arrived home at 2 am... Because we just can't tolerate with the crowds in LCCT so we end up performing our prayer at a Petronas station. waaaaaa....

I think after this we'll just stick to Firefly for any cheap short distance travel. Yeah the plane's small. But.... Better service. Better airport. NO crowd. And best of all, it's just 10 minutes from home hehe.

P/S : many thanks to all bloggers out there (sorry, i just googled around so i can't remember your names or URLs) whom I referred to when I was browsing about USS. ;)

~day trip to universal studios singapore [1]~

2011-12-12T22:22:00.002+08:00

Since i have a week to kill before i start my work back (lazy to explain about the 1 week leave) and Izam is off shift for 4 days, we suddenly had only 24 hours to decide where to go for a short holiday. And in the end we chose singapore with the main reason to go to USS. And another reason to make full use of our passports before they expired.

It was supposed to be a 2-day trip but it was shortened to 1 because Izam had an event to attend.

And so in that very last minute, i managed to book our USS tickets, our Air Asia return tickets (cheapest i can find) and changed some RMs to Sing dollars.

We departed from LCCT at 6.05 am. And i was truly surprised seeing the huge crowd of people at the terminal, at that hour. Imagined a really packed McD at 5 am.. Btw, we drove and parked there, we didn't feel like troubling anyone since we need to leave home around 4ish am.

No wonder some said that LCCT is now turning into puduraya. Huhu

After having a quick breakfast, and a few annoying dramas (we turned up at the wrong gate because i didn't know there are 2 separate gates for international flights. 1st time flying international with AA, forgive me.. And there was a seriously long queue in front of the departure gate that i thought we were surely gonna miss the flight. Luckily we went to the front and asked and it turned out the queue was a tour group departing for Manila. Haruskah beratur depan gate??? There were a few people who also told the guard that they nearly missed their flight because of the queue..sheesh go and huddle somewhere else la wei) we errr boarded the plane.

We didn't make it to perform our Subuh prayer at LCCT, so we performed it on board the plane. :)

Despite all those, alhamdulillah the flight was right on schedule and we touched down at Changi Airport at 7.05 am. Do remember it was a last minute plan hence i haven't got time to study a lot about Singapore. The first thing we did was (well, after grabbing a few brochures on Singapore hahah) to sit down at Starbucks because Izam wanted a hot choc and a muffin (which surprisingly cost only around S$10) and i wanted to get connected to the internet. After about 30 minutes of browsing for what i needed, we set off to the MRT Changi Station and bought 2 ezlink cards worth $22 each. Btw 1 thing that i had checked the day before was how much we needed to spend for our MRT rides, so that's why i topup another $10 value into each cards.

Since USS won't be opened for another 1 1/2 hours, we went to the Merlion Park first to do what a tourist would do hehe. It was on the way to the USS anyway.

We arrived at the USS just in time with the entrance's opening so without further ado, snap snap snap and fun fun fun...

Although it's the school holiday, the queues for each rides was no more than 10 minutes each. EXCEPT for the transformers 3D ride. Queueing for that alone took nearly an hour! But we queued indoors and the place was air-conditioned and there were lots of things to photograph and play with, so it was okay. Minus the backaches and cramped legs, of course. Anyhow the ride was awesome!! Despite me shrieking non-stop hehe buat malu je, budak kecik sebelah Izam pun diam jek. I thought it was a roller coaster ride so i started shrieking as soon as the car lurched forward. Trauma ditipu di disneysea huhuhu. I'm allergic to roller coaster rides, fyi.

Had our lunch at Goldilocks. Izam said the chicken was so-so but gave 2 thumbs up for the mashed potatoes.

tbc...

~the everyone-knows formula~

2011-12-02T02:16:00.000+08:00

= usaha + doa + tawakkal

= ownself + Allah + Allah

= 1x + (1y + 1y)

= 1x + 2y

in conclusion, value of y is higher than the x.
so we actually (unconsciously) is relying 2 times more on Allah than ourselves.

if things doesn't go our way, then that means there's a bigger surprise waiting for you around the corner. patience is the key. ;) not to forget, doa dan tawakkal.

silence is gold + lesser sins.

~hide n seek~

2011-12-01T00:37:00.000+08:00

its a game that we never plan to play, yet i will suddenly has the urge to hide whenever Izam is back from somewhere. especially when i heard the clinking of his house keys against the front grill.

so most of the times i will hide under the table, behind the chairs, behind the kitchen cabinet, doors, just anywhere i can fit myself in lah hehe. i even once hid with Aidan behind the kitchen cabinet, and although he didn't make a sound, he played with the apron which hung right above us (with his seriously funny confused expression) and Izam saw the apron moved and found us in an instant hehe.

so today, again, i suddenly menggelabah cari a place to hide when Izam was opening the front grill. padahal i was on the way to the toilet okayyyyy.

and i found a good hiding place behind two stack of boxes in the store room. this is the first time i hid there. it was hot and stuffy, and i had to squat really low with my head bowed down to my knees. yeah, i was in the most uncomfortable position yet i was really excited and my heart was pounding like crazy. :P

so Izam came in and i heard him putting some stuffs here and there, and even came very close to my hiding place. i knew he was not looking for me yet because if yes, he would be calling my name and started the search already hehe.

while i was adjusting my cramped knees and neck and everything, he was suddenly behind my back, and we both jumped back with surprise, and then gelak guling2. melompat katak i ok. he actually wanted to put/took something from behind me... so i won!! :D

but i think my hiding place under the dining table was the most hilarious one. because he never dreamed of me hiding under the table, he kept going in and out of the rooms for a few minutes until he spotted me hunched under the table - in plain sight because there's no tablecloth - grinning winningly hehe.

~dear sister's wedding~

2011-11-29T21:34:00.002+08:00

a very busy weekend for us. and a beautiful one, of course. ;)

my sister got married on Sunday, November 20th. and on the same day was the reception for the bride's side.

i still can't believe my sistah is already married. hahahaha.

she personally requested her wedding present and i was REALLY excited about her present.

since she loves baking sooo much and amazingly good at it, she requested for a mixer. although kitchen aid mixers are all soooo adorable but they are too expensive to me boohoo. Izam couldn't understand why mixers have to be so expensive hehe. hence i bought her a kenwood. but oh ain't it the prettiest thing despite being heavy... no pictures, personal stuff hehe. now i can just give her a call and order any delicacies i want hohoho.

with bodyguards....

...yang agaks sengals

presenting my brother in law. :P hahaha

perlu ke tak perlu explain??

you see...my brother in law was my classmate back in UPM.
he was one of the few whom i was friends with, considering my sombongness towards the opposite gender. and he was always there to lend me and my friend (kak syada) a hand whenever we needed help regarding network stuffs, be it assignments or hands on stuffs.

nevertheless. i had nothing to do with them falling in love yada yada yada. everything happened magically on their own. sneaking behind my back, that is hehe.

so i am very happy. because he was a good friend and a good person.

Izam is very happy. because he had a BIL that is also in the computer industries and they can discuss about anything for hours.

and my dad is very happy too, for the same reason as above. a one happy computer family?

then on the next weekend, it was the groom's reception, at Kelantan.

we all (as per pictures below) went back by flight for fear of the rising floods all around the east coast.

me and Izam, we took the first flight back to Kelantan, and returned to KL on the last flight. all on the same day.

very tiring indeeeeeed.

happy ever after, dear sis. ;)

~darkest mercy~

2011-11-29T09:44:00.001+08:00

the last book from the Wicked Lovely series. there are four books altogether.

price of the book.... RM 5 .....................

adikku belikan di big bad wolf secondary book fair ke apentah. tekezut gak ada kat situ, because this book baru je released earlier this year.

maka... tiba2 buku ni jadi priority. because i soooooooo love this series.

~for the love of...~

2011-11-18T14:08:00.001+08:00

food~~

macam biase. bile lapar mula la browse halaljakim pastu berangan.

berangan siap ada senarai youuu.

teringat zaman skolah dulu2, waktu rehat2 saye membaca thesaurus merriam webster kepunyaan rakan. so nerd bluek.

book~~

pathetically addicted to sudoku.

bangun pagi sudoku, sebelum tidur sudoku. going anywhere, never without my sudoku book.

buku2 yang diborong di bigbadwolf book fair jadi bahan pameran je kat rak.

although dah put aside dah buku yang nak dibaca seterusnya, little hut of leaping fishes. put aside je la.

sape yang dah baca, best ke? beli sebab dulu2 die adalah berada di selected books area kat mph.

dulu2 tak beli because baca synopsis macam tak menarik perhatian hehe.

movie~~

lately hbo dah kerap tayang citer fantastic mr. fox.

for those who know, that movie was from a book with the same title itself. written by the famous amos late Roald Dahl.

bfg dah kuar movie. matilda dah. witches bile lagi hehe.

popcorn~~

ok ini adalah Izam's love.

Garrett's in town. will be opening a 2nd outlet in OU soon. question is. tak jumpe di halaljakim. will wait for the update *sigh* if there's any.

would love to buy that for Izam. he's a popcorn lover.

blaja masak popcorn ah camnih.

God~~

ceh letak last skali, sungguh keji. :P

segan ah asyik nak alim2 di blog hehe. dosa berjuta2 kan.

tapi. 2 nights ago, i dream of tsunami. saye bergayut di rumah pokok while Izam bergayut di pokok not far away from me.

waves after waves came crashing, and lots of people were swept away each time.

everytime lepas satu wave, i was afraid Izam akan terlepas dari pokok. :(

orang banyak dosa. camni la mimpi hehe. bagus jugak tau. kasi insap sket. :P

~erti pengorbanan~

2011-11-09T23:57:00.012+08:00

knowing that there were people who ate stones to relieve their hunger (because there were no more grass left) made me realize how lucky i am to even have stale bread for dinner.

knowing that there were orphans who ate only eggs for their meals during non-holiday days (non-holiday = very little donations) just breaks my heart.

if you have kids. or nephews, nieces etc. you would know that the thing they need most are not money, toys, clothes. they crave for love and attention. :) so does orphans.

surah al-Imran. ayat 92. kamu tidak akan dapat syurga, atau keredhaan Allah, kecuali kamu menafkahkan apa yang kamu paling kasih.

korban yang dikehendaki dalam Islam, atau tahap minimum untuk berkorban adalah korban yang menghentak hati kita dan kita rasa kesusahannya (untuk melepaskan) bila kita memberi.

korban bukan sahaja dari segi harta, malah perasaan.
[download and listen]

- Dr Zaharuddin

salam aidil adha.

~mimpi lagi sila jangan muntah~

2011-11-04T16:07:00.005+08:00

macam asyik entry mimpi je kahkah tak kiraa..

semalam Izam buat keje kat notebook sampai lewat malam, and macam biasa2, saye heret bantal peluk ngan buku sudoku, baring kat luar. Izam suruh tido dalam bilik, tapi tetap degil. bukan derhaka yer. hehe.

lepas beberapa round sudoku, tertido. pastu mimpi mengaji ayat ape ntah, tapi ade ustaz. pastu ustaz tu explain maksud ayat tu. pasal pocong you. apekah kaitan sudoku dan pocong plis tell me. hoh. saye terus terjaga. teneng, dah dalam bilik. biasela, Izam kejut masuk dalam bilik tapi saye sleepwalk gitu, tak sedar.

penakuts me, mula la gabra. clear lagi mimpi pocong tu huhu. sambil fikir2 nak tido bukak lampu taknak, nak ke taknak. bukak kang sian Izam. kang pecar (silau). dalam2 toss and turn atas katil, Izam terjaga. otomatik tanya kenapa kenapa. saye cakap takde pape. pastu saye terduduk kejap sebab kan i ni rabun.. sume dalam bilik yg gloomy (lampu tidur malap) tu nampak macam pocong haha. so Izam peluk la suruh tido balik. siap tepuk2 gitu haha annoying kot kacau tido orang. :P

pastu tringat, patutla mimpi merapu, tido tak baca doa huhu. bersungguh2la baca ayat kursi, 3qul segala. pastu susah payah tido balik (takut nak pejam mata, nanti bukak nampak pocong huhuhu). cess patut bangun solat malam ek, baru tringat.

anyway.
lepas tido balik, mimpi kat mana ntah, macam kat asrama. plak dah haha. mase tu ramai orang. pastu saye jalan2, taktau arah tujuan, naik turun tangga, lalu koridor2 luas, pastu tiba2 cahaya terang sangat pastu saye menjerit sebab terang sangat. pastu tiba2 ada Aidan baring kat sebelah (ohoh tiba2 saye dah terbaring juga). pastu saye suruh Aidan breastfeed. Aidan muka konfius tapi ikutkan aje. mungkin die datang melawat bukan untuk breastfeed haha.

moral of the story. sebelum rasa bakal tertido baca doa tido siap2 supaya mimpi indah2 belaka. :P

~mimpi yang mengagumkan~

2011-11-02T13:00:00.000+08:00

kat airport. dengan Izam, Raby, Dina and ada sorang lagi tak ingat plak sape.
we all nak fly, me and Izam nak ke Jepun (rolling eyes) flight pukul 10, tak ingat pagi ke malam. Raby ke mana tak pasti mana tapi UK kot, Dina ngan sorang lagi ke OZ.
flight Dina and Raby berlepas dulu, so berpisah la kami.
pastu me and Izam ade nak singgah somewhere, pastu baru ke airport. skali jem. hati dah berdebar2, aih takkan terlepas flight kot, baru beli bag baru kat airport tadi. poyo tak siap beli bag kat airport.
pusing punya pusing cari jalan tak jem, dah nak kul 11. i was very upset. pastu kitorang sampai, pegi kat kaunter tanya bleh lagi tak naik plane, tolong delaykan flight. orang tu call sana sini pastu cakap, tak bleh, plane baruuu je take off, sambil tunjuk kat atas pale, nampak plane bye bye.

pastu terjaga. tengok jam, kul 5 pagi.

pastu teringat ya Allah tertido tak semayang isyak lagi.

pastu tak tau apsal, time2 tu gak tiba2 relatekan citer di atas dengan solat.

flight tidak akan tunggu kita. masa tetap berjalan. bayarla tiket 40ribu pun.
solat tidak akan tunggu kita. masa tetap berjalan. biarla harta 40ribu pun.

soft reminder oleh Allah. comel kan. ;)

~dear son~

2011-10-28T16:21:00.002+08:00

the best son anyone could have ever had.

son, your passing had opened a lot of other doors to me, your father and others.

son, Allah's plans for us - you me him - amazed me every single day.

son, too many things happened for the past 4 months.

one good thing after another.

being thankful everyday doesn't even come close if compared to those.

i am ashamed (of Him) to the core. He loves us more than what i've given in return. i don't know if i deserve all these, good things.

i'm thankful but i'm scared too.

but Allah knows best. may my Iman be strong.

son. your father said to me.

"besar pengorbanan anak awak."

thank you son.

thank you Allah.

for the best son anyone could have ever had.

If you lose your way
Believe in a better day
Trials will come
But surely they will fade away
If you just believe
What is plain to see
Just open your heart
And let His love flow through

2011-10-20T17:04:00.000+08:00

harini bangun lambat, so terkejar2 siap2 nak gi keje. tak prepare baju keje siap2, padan muka kan. prepare baju Izam je haha. jadi pagi tadi takdela sesi duduk bersila depan almari baju yang terbuka sambil termenung setengah jam. Izam dah mula buat ayat, "lambat siap tinggal lambat siap tinggal" sambil main kunci2 grill dari luar. sungguh tak memberi motivasi pagi.

hasilnya. sangat memalukan. pfftt. :(
nak gi lunch pun malu uhuk.

saya sangat suka melihat sudah ramai rakan2 yang mula memakai tudung dengan betul. ;) tahniah! tak perlulah kondem mereka2 yang belum mengorak langkah ke arah itu. mungkin satu hari nanti mereka lagi hebat dari anda. dan takut anda pula menjurus ke (sila lihat perenggan seterusnya). aiyok aiyok malu 40 tahun.

saya harap semua pernah dengar atau tahu dengan perkataan riak. noktah. ia adalah sejenis kotoran hati yang sungguh menggerunkan. noktah. like seriously so scary. terima kasih ustaz dan ustazah kat skolah kerana memeberitahu akan kewujudannya.

haih sekarang pemboikotan ke atas barangan israel dah makin longgar. lempang diri sendiri. harus memperbetulkan semula kedudukan. too sated with the yummy food. lempang lagi. :( chaiyok!

haritu abis baca buku The Gift pada pukul 3.30 pagi. pastu esoknya weng.
so anyway, buku ini sangat menikam jiwa. no, bukan buku romance. lepas abis baca terkedu sekejap. not like any other Ahern's books la i rasa. cewah macam la dah baca semua. :P
at least takdela nangis gelak nangis gelak macam baca buku PS I Love You kan. thanks to CikLin sebab paksa saya baca hehe.
skarang dah paksa Sara baca buku The Gift.

paksa memaksa amalan mulia. :P

weekend ni saya sangat bz please take note. oh excited dan nervous!
thanks Adibah dan Hedayah di atas jasa2 anda memenuhi weekend saya dengan penuh manfaat. thanks Izam memberi kebenaran hehe.

apsal asyik thanks je nih.

~big bad wolf book fair 2011~

2011-10-13T22:01:00.001+08:00

i was so excited over this book fair, that i was practically sweating the day before.

that bad huh.

so i took a half day leave on the first day of the book fair. since my office is near to maeps, i don't think i need to take a one-day leave.

well i was not the only one for sure.

there were 9 people in front of me. and i arrived 2 HOURS before it opened. wuhuu. dunno what time they all arrived.

and the queue behind me grew like flowers in the rain, an hour before it opened, till i can't see the end of it.

at least not like THAT PERSON, whom i can hear her prancing and jumping around with joy every time she gave me a call to gossip about the book fair. ho ho ho. :P

i was so so so excited that i took only 1 HOUR to finish shopping. with reason; tangan dah lenguh heret kotak because tak larat nak angkat dah, plus saya tidak arif seperti mereka2 yang membawa luggage bag mereka. i brought only my ikea bag. bubuh 2 buku dah macam nak patah bahu. kau, mata buntang tahap terhebat, tangan tak berenti mencapai2 buku dan campak dalam kotak, sedar2 dah berat. and dalam heret kotak berat tu, on the way to the cashier, sempat grab books lagi. until ada one volunteer tengok and rasa kesian, he offered to carry my box until to the cashier.

halfway through my grabbing madness, CikLin arrived. tu pun tau because Abe Adib came to tell me, CikLin ada kat sana. and i can see her eyes so buntang hahaha. glittering macam jumpa lubuk emas. dengan shopping cart nya. yeehaa arriba arriba.
we met and had a brief talk je, because........ (too much joy, can't find the right words for it)

masuk kereta baru sedar tudung dah senget benget. oh but the joy it brings! oh oh oh. just can't express it in words.

and because of that, i took the liberty to go there again, on the next day itself. can't bring myself to wait until the next weekdays dah. saturday pun saturday lah.

this time around, i was smarter, brought along a small (small so that i won't shop till i dropdeadgorgeous) luggage bag. and Izam. asset penting tuh Izam haha.

pergh. i should have brought it sooner. the luggage bag i mean, bukan Izam. haha.

this time i attacked the cooking section and the hobbies&crafts section. the day before i only hang around the non fiction and children sections. but i was wiser. cewah poyo. i flipped through every books i grabbed first before deciding to place it in my luggage. place ok. not campak anymore. so sopan you.

Izam, being so matang he is, bought what i may call as, 'serious' books only. nampak matang sket la rak buku i hoho.

and since we took our own sweet time in choosing the books, we finally stopped after 3+ hours of digging.

on sunday, i had to rearrange the books on my bookshelves to accommodate the newcomers. kalau boleh takmo beli extra rak kan.

oh did i mention......

I LEFT MY CREDIT CARD AT THE CASHIER COUNTER ON THE FIRST DAY OF MY SHOPPING MADNESS??

hamek kau caps lock.

careless me. pang pangg.

kebuntangan mata dan kewarasan otak belum kembali normal walaupun dah swipe cc. maka terjadilah isu di mana, tengah jalan kaki ke kereta, sambil excited melompat2 borak ngan Izam on the phone, maybank called. in short, she said the cashier officer said i left my cc at the cashier and i was like, omg i did that???

but alhamdulillah, mereka sangat jujur. they returned back my cc; the officer gave me a weird look. so far takde lagi la transaction pelik2.

and after tonnes of books arranged neatly on the shelves.

i am still with my sudoku book.

perhiasan much?

~twelve: extracting the good, from the bad~

2011-10-05T11:30:00.161+08:00

*this entry is written earlier, and set to publish on 5th of October 2011, at 11.30 am*

from all of those heart-wrenching moment i endured at NICU SDMC, there was one time (that gave me nightmares for quite a while), when he opened his eyes, probably because the earlier exhaustion has worn away. he just stared at me, i was standing by his bedside. i coo-ed and talked to him and he kept on staring. he was not making any sound nor movement. and after for a few minutes, he turned his head and stared at the foot of his bed. i looked too but no one was there. in fact, we were both alone in the room.

and i understood what was happening and what is going to happen.

since then, he kept on switching, from looking at me to looking at the foot of his bed. as if giving me a message, of which i understood and i hated myself for that. i was panicking that at one time i literally blocked his view to the foot of his bed with my face and kept on saying look at me look at me. and finally he stared at me for a long time, before he started to shiver, and slowly it became a seizure.

seriously how can i not have nightmares like that.

Izam was performing solat isyak at the hospital's prayer room when it happened.

when Dr. Sanjay finally able to stop the seizure (it took him about 3 hours, where few things happened in between but i forgot the details because every news he delivered was always bad news that i felt like slapping his face, sorry Dr. Sanjay), he was put to sleep, so that he can rest. little did we know that it was the last time he opened his eyes. yes he passed away in his sleep.

**************************************************************************

when things like this happened, we tend to start pointing fingers at people. frankly i started my digging right on the next day, with tears running like mad. i recalled back scene by scene. i googled around. and as far as i'm concern, any research i did led me to a dead end. or, more on, it's just his time to go.

i am relieved that Aidan's passing was somewhat peaceful, with no serious injuries whatsoever. i mean, accidents and such, you know.

i am thankful of everything that Allah has provide me with. the good family, the good health, the good food, the good money. to ask for more is embarrassing. what have i done (to Him) to deserve more than i have now? because of Him, i am blessed with everything that i have now.

i am thankful that, even though this might be the most traumatized experience i've ever had, there are A LOT of people out there that have gotten into worse scenarios than mine. my deepest condolences. innalillah.

i am thankful that even though i was given only 8 months to get to know Aidan, at least i knew and felt what it was like to be a mother. the experience itself was far more precious than gold.

thank you Allah for always and always giving me guidance when i am lost. despite my ignorance and arrogance. always and always.

btw, i would never shed tears in public, if i can avoid it. even in front of Izam. thus why people sees me as a tough/heartless person. :) yes, the ego in me.

tried to create a video of compiled videos of him but failed (in all honesty, too lazy to search for a suitable software and too shy to ask help from others) so i just put one up.

i had just found the courage to watch his videos, which took up most of my hand phones' memories.

video was taken on Thursday, 14th of April 2011 (he was 6 months old) on 7.32 am.
he had just woken up and i was preparing his bath (hear the sound of water in the background).
i normally bathe him first (and sometimes suap him breakfast too) before sending him to his nursery and me, off to work.

**************************************************************************

i thanked Allah for not letting me stray for too long. since i have sinned a lot, He provides me (not forgetting Izam) with a 'guarantee', when the time comes. Aidan had been such a good boy, and that was just the icing of the cake. he's gonna be there to help us, me and Izam, on our journey in the hereafter.
a forever good boy, he is. i am in bliss.

And if you should count the favors of Allah , you could not enumerate them. Indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful. [Surat An-Nahl 16:18]

2011-10-02T00:41:00.000+08:00

i limit my food quantity, but not to the extent to starving myself (err i eat simply everything by the way tingtong it's just that no more barbarian style hohoh).
my weight is stagnant. or sometimes, rises.

i eat a lot, like really eat as in a i-don't-care-about-dieting-anymore style.
my weight is stagnant, but sometimes i lose some.

huh?

honey, we really need to change the bathroom scale. to a woman, this is a serious matter.

2011-09-29T16:50:00.000+08:00

yesterday while driving home from work, i suddenly remembered about Aidan's stuffs at his nursery. we didn't picked them up yet because of time constraint and sometimes the owner, Kak Umi, was not present. furthermore, Izam's working in shifts and me, in not-so-standard office hour, makes it much harder to go together gether.

so i called Izam and said that i wanted to drop by alone and he said okay, so i straightaway went there. it was a very, well, tough journey for me, even though the place was a mere 10 minutes drive from our home. dingdongbell, i recited anything that can calm me down. :)

so as usual, the staffs there can see cars going into the road that leads toward the house, right before the parents arrive, so they can prepare the children earlier. minimizes the queue of cars, very efficient.

one of the staff saw me and smiled even before i reached the gate.

"Kak Umi ada?"
"Kak Umi tak datangla harini kak, dia tak sihat."
"owh yeke...takpelah, nanti saya call dia."
"ni barang saya dah siap letak sini semua, botol susu dan bekas ebm ada sekali tapi saya asingkan plastik."
"owh, botol susu ngan bekas ebm buang je."
"...betul ke kak? saya dah asingkan siap2."
"eh betul2. simpan lama2 pun expired jugak kan."
"oh okay2. meh saya tolong angkat gi kat kereta."

my oh my, mata macam nak terkeluar tahan nangis (saya ada sikit ego tak suka nangis in public. depan Izam pun tamau). normally i opened the car door and saw his car seat.
after she helped to transfer the stuffs, i straightaway drove back home. takde borak2 panjang. borak2 bermakna mengundang bah. hehe.

alhamdulillah all went well. meaning, takde insiden pengsan meroyan bagai hehe.

it calmed me when Kak Umi texted saying that they organized a majlis tahlil during the fasting month baru2 ni.

i remembered Aidan's neighbor at NICU SDMC. the mother was crying her heart out. the father tercangkung depan pintu masuk NICU, head in hands. because their girl should be discharged on that day but suddenly kena seizure, so kena tahan balik.

when i was passing by their room, waiting for documents before discharged, i saw the mother was reciting Yaasin with her girl. thank you, neighbor. we didn't get the chance to get to know each other. well, who has that kind of luxury in NICU?

~safe n sound~

2011-09-21T10:13:00.000+08:00

seeing my Alang Raby has arrived safe and sound in the land of UK. kalo dah bleh tulis blog tu kira safe and sound la kan hehe.
alhamdulillah.

demi rakan2, i pakai baju masa hantar Alang Raby pi Jepun masa 2007. pastu baru perasan tudung kaler lain2.

gambar blom transfer lagi dari kamera. encik fotografer a.k.a Izam busy. Dalin, sabar eh. dahla masa peluk2 Alang Raby, Izam usha mende lain or ORANG lain, so takdela gambar i peluk2 Alang Raby huhuhu.

Alang Raby's Umi cakap, ala pi belajaq ja, dua taun skali balik la. power ah Umi 2 tahun skali hehe.

Alang Raby bebeh, i kenot explain how valuable this friendship is. and we are so damn proud of you and your achievement. well, i am so proud of each of our achievements. alhamdulillah. semua jadi orang berguna dan berjaya.

pesanan dari Izam. jangan jadi seperti kisah percutian Jepun dan OZ. ni trademark ko ngan Dalin. ngehngeh.

i love you gurls. alhamdulillah on this friendship. all praises to Allah.

~thoughts~

2011-09-15T01:35:00.001+08:00

Baru lepas tgk movie sex and the city 2, untuk kali yang kedua.

This movie really left me deep in thoughts. And its for the second time.

Duh.

Yeah, i can't compare their lifestyles, married or not, with ours. There are some parts that we can take note of.

Macam the way carrie and big live their married-but-no-kids life. Like it or not, big reminds me of Izam. Hehe. Cool. Tak pernah marah. Romantic. Charming. Sweet. I would say dengan riaknya, he is just perfect for me.

And when big told carrie, "obviously there's something that makes you sad (eventhough you're denying it)".
Zasss trus i teringat kat my book, Men are from mars, women are from venus.
Which i believe most of you own one.
Seriousky i khatam this book bape puluh kali pun tak ingat, i just llllloved it. Dah lunyai dah.
Pastu bajet follower setia kan, i bought another one, Why Mars and Venus Collide: Improving Relationships by Understanding How Men and Women Cope Differently with Stress.

But i never finished it. And now that i just realized about it - poor you - maybe i'll continue on it. Soon.

But anyway. I just would like to say that, how lucky i am to have an understanding husband like Izam. Giving last week for an example. Although he works night shift that night he still allows me to go out with my girlfriends that night, on a short notice, tumpang kete orang lain and balik tumpang kete orang lain plak. Orang lain tu of coursela my gurls kan. Jauh plak tu, gombak. Tiba2 rasa macam watak dalam sex and the city plak hahaha mari perasan diva sebentar.

Alhamdulillah.

And also the story about miranda juggling between career and motherhood. Like, really juggling, hard. In the end, it's just about having a suitable job. Satisfaction at work, brings home a happy heart. But that depends, i know, different situations might need different decisions. And I have to really take note of this too hehe.

Samantha memang out haha.

And charlotte is trying too hard i guess. It's so true that sometimes you just need a break and take a really closer look around because you might be focusing too hard in front of you that you've missed other things which are equally important in your life. Like just take a 10 minute break from your daily house chores and read a book. Sometimes a simple thing like this is just the thing you need to gain that tranquility you crave for.

~eleven~

2011-09-09T14:06:00.022+08:00

my hari raya was so and so. most of the pictures were taken using my BIL's camera.

anyway. 3 or 4 days before raya.

Aidan visited his cousin, Adam. my SIL was in the kitchen, when she heard that Adam was playing with his ball, too happy for someone playing alone (his brother was asleep). she went to have a look. Adam was throwing his ball up few flights of stairs and was delighted when the ball fell downwards. my SIL asked him (okay so i forgot what the real question was), Adam main ngan sape? Adam answered in his own pelatness, dan...dan.. and pointed up the stairs. my SIL understood and let him be.

then they went back to my in laws'. Adam was watching a video clip (or listening to a song, can't remember) on my SIL's notebook, then my SIL changed to another and Adam said, nanak nanak..dan nak ni.. SIL asked, sape nak? dan...dan.. and pointed to beside him. err ke beside my SIL. something like that lah.

on raya eve, we arrived right before isya'. during azan isya', Adam suddenly said while playing, dah takde...

i remembered there and then. when there was 1 night, me and Izam can't sleep at all even though it was already 3 am. i was wondering of 2 things; if Aidan was around, but i know if he does, i won't be able to see him, like Adam did. or adakah malam itu malam lailatulqadar, maka i tak dibenarkan tidur. tapi tak bangun solat malam pun hihihi.. when i finally fell asleep, i dream of suddenly feeling really afraid, but i don't know why. and suddenly it was getting brighter and brighter and when it became too bright i turned to the other side (rupanya i was already awake but too afraid to open my eyes) and hold on to Izam tightly, whimpering, eyes still closed tight. Izam terjaga dan konfius, i realized that but i was too afraid of...i don't know what. mungkin padah tidur membelakangi suami ish ish..

oh yeah, i dream of Aidan twice before that. the first one, it was quite scary. because in that dream, i miss Aidan so much that i dig up his grave and found out he was still alive. of this i blame the CSI series that i watched before that, about a serial killer that buries his victims alive.
the 2nd dream was quite disappointing because, when i woke up all i remember was i dream of him and we were happy and that's it.

~santai opis~

2011-09-08T19:31:00.000+08:00

walaupun ada sedikit bosan (ok mungkin banyak) sebab dah bersawang berakar umbi dah kat kompeni ni, team i memang tak pernah sunyi dengan lawak yang sengal dan menyegarkan minda yang berselirat ni, setelah merenung notebook 5 jam tanpa berkelip.

macam harini. oh my gucci sangat lawak dowh.

in short. teammate kensel miting sebab ingat bos tak masuk keje lagi lepas bercuti (konflik timezone gitu) pastu bos wat ayat kecik ati dalam emel. yang bestnye, miting tetap kensel. yesszaa.

walaupun weekly miting selasa petang dan khamis malam (team mate around the world, nasibla) yang selalunya tak ikhlas nak join, susah benor nak kenselnye, tapi diorang suke wat lawak tahap chowder. so miting yang biasanya dihadiri dengan hati separa ikhlas, selalunya akan diakhiri dengan happiness. pastukan i yakin memasing gelak tapi pakat mute fon jek (conference call miting).so bajet serius ah sumer. tak leh blah ah.

kesimpulan di sini.

patutla ramai yang resign pakat rindu sini.
atau dengan lebih tepat. patutla i tak resign2.

~kodi?~

2011-08-26T16:57:00.000+08:00

by the way, kodi means outdated. that's a kelantanese word. so blehla guna pasnih. :P

living in the age where technology moves faster than the blink of an eye (i so hate my english. it sounds too dull, comparing to 2, 3 years back), i have to admit, i am not that affected. well, not that hard.

ok i want to comment on my statement "i so hate my english. it sounds too dull, comparing to 2, 3 years back".
i would say, working in a us company doesn't do any good to my english. luckily, my english survives, although anywhere near improvement is futile. improvement of my fluency yes, my vocabulary library HECK NO. maybe i should start reading the merriam webster's thesaurus again.

back to kodi.
ok so, i am not that affected. well. let's take the gps for an example.
when the gps sensation hits the world, i was curious. and that's all.
you should know that, i am still using my 2007 klang valley map book up until now. and i love it.
i got hooked up with a map book through my aunt. my friends used to be surprise that i can easily find an isolated place, or a place that is like too kampung to find, just like that. of course, i still need the full address beforehand.
got lost on the way to work, when i first drive my own car didn't count okay. :P

i love flipping through the pages in my map book looking for the destination place. the feel is like a treasure hunt map. the excitement is....yummylicious haha

it's good for your brain development too. you workout your brain more than using a gps, where you type in the intended location and sit back and relax, following the directions given.

it's like, comparing between reading a twilight book and watching its movie. honestly speaking, i hate its movie. i sincerely apologize to all kirstew fans, but i love the books so much that i was distressingly disappointed when i watched the first movie.

then again. gps is preferable when you are in a hurry, no time to sit down and flip through the map book pages. all in all, gps is a good backup solution.

so okay, came the smartphone. and i got curious and yada yada yada and i let it pass.
when it first made it debut, it was expensive for me. and i don't see the urgency of needing one yet.

you see, i am not one gadget girl, even though i am an IT grad and works in an IT company.
i use my handphone to make calls, send text messages, take pictures, list down groceries to buy, go online once in a blue moon. and i guess that's about it.
hence i will buy one when the time comes. :P bila sampai seru hehe.

and suddenly the world is booming with ipad.
somehow, i was infected. hehe. thought of buying one for my kiddo, but in the end i cancelled in the last minute, cancelled my booking to be exact. and again the same reason (with gps) implies. one thing that i found ipad is worth it is that, browsing is much easier. lighter than a notebook and bigger screen than a hand phone.

astro spm, pmr and such. i do not know why these were introduced. because, exercise books are much more interactive. cheaper still. and watching these series, you are not taught to think. you are taught let the characters in the tv think and give the answers for you a.k.a spoonfeeding.
it's like, doing exercises in a book by copying answers from the answer sheets at the back.

in short (from a damn long and annoying story), just use it, or them, as an assistance. as a secondary choice when the primary won't help. don't let it, or them, control your life. and last2 jadi gemuk sumer macam dalam citer Wall-E. :P

don't let evolution becomes revolution. sounds familiar? hahaha. ok ni dah takde kaitan dah.

best regards,
kodi woman living in a not-so-kodi-at-all era. :P

~to say i miss you so much, feels like an understatement~

2011-08-10T20:56:00.002+08:00

imagine living without breathing.

although i have gained myself a "passport to Heaven", i am nowhere near content.

Prof. Dr. Muhaya has quoted;
untuk mengelakkan dari membuat dosa senang saja. ingatlah mati.

for someone as stubborn as me, Allah has made it much simpler; He showed me in plain sight.

Allahuakbar.

~reached 10 months old yesterday~

2011-08-06T23:42:00.001+08:00

~terima kasih dettol~

2011-08-03T12:35:00.005+08:00

saye takleh terima akan 4 benda (yang teringat stakat ni).

1) orang pegi beli ayam, pilih dengan tangan selamba belek2. pastu dah pilih, suruh orang potong, amik ayam, continue beli barang lain. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. kotor. :'( nak nangis rasa. saya pilih ayam siap balut tangan dengan plastik. lantakla orang nak cakap bandar ke ape.

2) saya telah marah secara silent di pasaraya minggu lepas. masa kat cashier, duk scan2 barang nak bayar. macam biasa ayam yang telah dipotong saya akan bubuh dalam 2 atau 3 lapis lagi plastik, depends on me. selalunya cashier akan scan jek. cashier yang ni, dia selak sampai lapisan plastik kedua terakhir yang KOTOR tu pastu scan. pastu continue scan barang saya yang lain. mendidih hati weh. :'( memang la dia lap tangan kat kain but kain tu ntah dari zaman bila dah penuh kuman. next time dia nak scan ayam, saya MESTI pegang sendiri. (pernah pergi pasar basah beberapa kali lepastu give up sebab asyik basuh tangan setiap 5 minit camtu sampai orang dah pandang slack. apakah kehidupanku ini.)

3) saya anti dengan orang yang suka buka tombol pintu toilet tanpa lap tangan terlebih dahulu, menyebabkan ada sisa2 air di tombol. kuman kuman. mesti lap dengan perasaan yang stres. kalau takde tisu??? kadang2 bukak pintu, sekat dengan kaki, basuh tangan kat sinki, keluar. or tunggu orang bukak pintu. tapi selalunya tak pernah berlaku kejadian desperado lagi stakat nih. alhamdulillah.

4) saya tidak gemar tong sampah yang kena pegang penutup. kerana tiap kali lepas buang sampah kena cuci tangan dengan dettol.

tiba2 tringat citer The Aviator. citer lama dah.

sape tengok citer ni?

ni lagi saiko ok.

dia nampak staf die tukang sapu sampah tengah sapu sampah (duhh).
dia tengok staf dia macam xberapa kemas. dia geli, siap bepeluh2 lagi menahan kegelian. tapi dah tak tertahan tahap kegelian maka dia pecat staf ni ok.
tukang sapu sampah. takkan nak pakai tie kot.

another scene.
dia kat toilet. kuar dari cubicle, basuh tangan dengan sabun. tonyoh sampai darah2 tangan. siap ada sabun spare gitu dalam poket (sabun dia sume pakai buang, guna sekali jek pastu buang). nak kuar toilet, tapi taknak pegang tombol pintu toilet sebab tangan dia dah bersih. so tunggu la kalo ade sape2 nak kuar or masuk toilet.

another scene.
clash ngan awek. call PA tengah2 malam tu jugak suruh bakar sume baju2 dia yang pernah ade kaitan dengan awek dia. semua la kesimpulannya. so PA dia pi la bakar, pastu pi la beli baju baru.

i can tolerate bersepah. but i simply can't tolerate berkuman.

~al quran kegemaran saya~

2011-07-30T07:26:00.002+08:00

adalah al quran arwah emak saya.
apabila arwah emak meninggal, saya terus cop al quran tersebut menjadi milik saya.
kerana arwah emak memang rajin mengaji dengan al quran tersebut.
berwarna hijau dan kecil. namun tulisannya amat mudah dibaca.
malahan, arwah emak menanda muka surat pertama bagi surah-surah yang penting seperti surah yaasin, surah al waqi'ah, surah al kahfi, surah maryam dan lain-lain lagi.
saya beranggap arwah emak memang rajin membaca surah-surah yang ditanda, lagipun surah-surah tersebut adalah antara yang disarankan dibaca ketika mengandung.

saya teringat ketika saya kecil, arwah emak mempunyai sebuah walkman.
ketika itu walkman sedang hangat di pasaran.
arwah emak saya menggunakan walkman tersebut untuk mendengar kaset-kaset mengaji dan kuliah agama ketika di sekolah (arwah emak seorang guru di sekolah rendah tempat saya belajar).
setelah arwah emak saya meninggal, bapa saya mengambil walkman tersebut dan menyimpannya.

saya baru tersedar akan sesuatu.....

~..~

2011-07-25T11:09:00.002+08:00

alhamdulillah. we've had a great weekend. thank you love, for your patience and time. :)

sabtu:
~ skytrex with darling Izam and my not-so-little brothers. best! my 2nd time. and probably my last. i might continue with wall climbing after this. much more challenging, i guess. ;) rock climbing tak bleh selalu nanti rosak calar balar kuku i awww.

~ durian feast! at kota damansara, with my brothers juga. you know, the one near tune hotel. but we opted for timbang punya because it was much worth the money than buffet.

ahad:
~ swimming! gosh i cant remember when was the last time i swim. and due to that, i was out of breath after about an hour of swimming hehe. ada hati nak compete ngan adik2 lelaki, memang tak dapek laa. cikgu, sila bangga because semalam i berjaya buat gimrama dalam pool. :P and my feet paddling has improved, cikgu. tidak huduh seperti dulu. next, nak prektis lagi breathing between strokes. tu blom master lagi cikgu hehe.

~ that night, pengisian ilmiah. ;) loved it!

~gelisah v2.0~

2011-07-21T20:03:00.004+08:00

since i strongly agree with Cik Lin's entry, i want to show off my current read as well hehehe. well, that is what we used to do when we were cute and small with braids kan kan Cik Lin kan. in a good way lah. :P

i wonder how am i going to transfer my books if ever we're gonna move out one day.. bubbly hubby, please grow more muscle haha.

ok here's my current read:

this is the book 1 for The traitor spy trilogy. i love trilogy. or chronicles. or any books that have sequels. simply because, it saves my time searching for my next read in the bookstores. else i can spend hours and i will go crazy because when its time to pay, i will realize that the books that i've picked up will cost me one dizzying sum (spend hours = pick more) and i have to find a bench and start choosing. CHOOSING is the hardest part.

ok so back to the above book. *excited mode turned on*
i've read the previous trilogy (The black magician trilogy) of this same errr story? simply put, same author lah. Cik Lin introduced me to the first trilogy. she just said, buku ni best gile, a must read! and i rushed to the bookstore and borong all THREE books at once. why buy one by one when 1) you have the money muahaha 2) the books are all published already. yep. im one outdated reader.

so anyway. read them all. LOVED them all. then one day, while me and Izam were strolling in OU, we stopped by at MPH as usual, i excitedly scanned through the shelves when suddenly KEBABOOM! found the book. i was over the moon. :D

lagi sekali yeehaa.

i did search for book 2 and 3 but cant find them. probably they're not published in Malaysia yet.
and ever since this book is with me everywhere i go. bawak gi opis tapi tinggal dalam kete supaya tak tergoda and baca kat opis hehe. :P

anyway, before i started reading the ambassador's mission, i was reading this awesome bebeh:

its a sequel for Beautiful creatures book. fabulous book. but since i cant wait to start reading the ambassador's mission book, i stayed up one night to finish reading beautiful creatures book hehe. bersengkang mata gitu. :P

~what i feel now~

2011-07-17T07:26:00.002+08:00

happy..
~ Allah loves me. He tested me for i have sinned a lot. He don't want me to stray. He wants to make sure when i leave the world, i leave with good scents.

sad..
~ Ramadhan is nearing and we're back to the two-of-us again. which means Aidilfitri is nearing too. we had cancelled Aidan's baju melayu, Izam did actually, he called the tailor within a week after Aidan's departure. sometimes i feel like i dont want to celebrate Aidilfitri at all.

quickly collected myself..
~ to celebrate Aidilfitri is a must (ape ntah hukum lupe dah). and its not good not being happy when Ramadhan is coming.

guilty..
~ somehow i felt guilty that, Aidan had to go because -back to the happy reason-

quickly back to thankful..
~ i thank you Allah for even though it was my toughest test ever, it was not as tough as other people out there.

grateful..
~ Allah cleared me some ways that i havent notice before. and showed me things that has been blinded for me before.

disappointed..
~ truth be told, i havent dream of Aidan at all ever since his departure. either i have but i forgot the minute i woke up, or havent at all.

quickly back to grateful..
~ that is just a small matter, if Allah wouldnt let me meet him in my dreams, there must be a reason behind it.

so i am being overwhelmed with mixed feelings every now and then.
i fight hard to keep me sane and maintain my footing in reality and never ever doubt Allah's plans for me.

there's this one story. told to me by Izam. the story was actually being kept from me for fear i broke down or fainted or something. ;)

the 2nd night of tahlil, we were at the surau (at Klang) as usual, and few of my in laws were home with the kids, to prepare the food and such. Lysha darling (my 1yo niece) was standing at the front door, looking outside when suddenly she laughed and pointed outside.

SIL : Lysha gelak kat sape tu Lysha? (honestly if it was me, i wouldnt be asking that question haha)

Lysha : Aidan.. (sambil tunjuk2 luar)

SIL : haa ajak la masuk..

Lysha : asyuk asyuk.. (sambil ajak2)

so actually SILs, i think that kinda explained the reason why i kept waking up in the middle of the night for about 5 nights in a row even though i was not having any nightmares hehe. mase ni taktau lagi so i joked with Izam, "Aidan kejut kot tapi mama die ni penakut so bile saye terjaga terkejut tengah2 malam mestila kepit kat awak hehe."
and that's why Izam relayed the story to me. ;)

wallahu'alam.

~numbness~

2011-07-13T23:51:00.003+08:00

this numbness somehow creates a calm feeling. and the strength to live.
something like a... blackhole?

i am forever amazed and blessed with Allah's plans.

*pic credit to AdeqSyut ;)

~the best thing about surprises~

2011-07-12T15:54:00.002+08:00

is not how much money is spent.
but its in the satisfaction of creating a happy momento for the one you love. ;)

i've made a list of potential birthday surprises/presents. well actually two lists, but since Aidan's celebrating his birthday in a better place with his friends and i'm not one of the chosen few to be the guests (fine Aidan fine), so left only one list. for the not-so-old guy of the house. :P

thats all.
saje nak kasi awak stress.
awak konfem tak bleh korek punya macam biasa. wewuwewu

~9 months old today~

2011-07-05T14:02:00.004+08:00

just to make sure no misunderstanding here, this entry is not a sad one. :P
i think my writing sucks so bad that, if i write a happy entry, people read it as a sad one. and if i write a sad entry, people read it as a depressed one. hehe.

so anyway.
i forgot to mention that, he was lain (lain ka?) at tanah perkuburan bukit kiara. if anyone wants to go, you are more than welcome to. ;)
but there's no tombstone yet, and the lot number is fading. the best i can do is to provide a map.
the place is pretty much alive during weekends. starting early in the morning. i mean, with humans of course. so to go there alone for someone like me (hantu kak limah pun aku tak berani tengok y'all) is not that spooky.

i remembered, that whenever someone told me that somebody's young children has passed away, i would say, how lucky she is! her child is going straight to Heaven and she's gonna meet him/her again There and he/she is going to pull her straight into Heaven together, bypassing all those scary obstacles.
and i guess i had to say the same to myself as well. :)
but of course i didn't say that right into her face. manners bebeh manners.

few weeks ago my sis and bro slept over at my house and we baked rainbow cuppies which tasted not that bad but looked amazing hehe.

last week i went out for a girly date with darling Dalina and Raby. i spent the whole day at the curve and when i said the whole day, i meant from morning until late evening. macam gi keje. :P had breakfast, lunch and tea break at the curve. pokaiiiii

i am moving on.
i don't think dwelling too much into grief is gonna do me any good. once in a while is okay.
but that doesn't mean that i didn't miss him.
how can i not miss him, who won't look away from me even for a moment if i put him into our bed while i performed my prayer?
who loved to pull at my spectacles and i had to clean it like every hour or so because it was always full with his little fingerprints?
who scratched at my face if he was already awake while i was not?
who preferred me than Izam, and whined if i was not near him, and Izam had to carry him to the kitchen so that he knew where i was and stopped whining?
who smelt so nice in the morning, far nicer than after he was bathed and lotion-ed?

;)
reminiscing don't always have to end up with grieving.
a reminder for me and for everyone.

~heart-less~

2011-06-29T14:01:00.005+08:00

lost
but not so lost
sad
but not so sad
lonely
but not so lonely

hollowness and emptiness invade
the heart knows no way back home
joy has run away and hide
and all the colors have gone

laugh for the sake of laughing
smile for the sake of smiling
moving on for the sake of living

no-heart era has begun

~confusion of a mother~

2011-06-27T11:31:00.003+08:00

yeah you read me right.

i'm confused why there are SAHMs who, after had conceived and gave birth to their child, chose to neglect them afterwards. neglect by means, not providing them proper meals (biscuits for lunch?? breads and milo for dinner?? sheesh, you're not poor!), not providing them proper home education (everyone knows that, a child will learn from their parents in their early stage, in terms of attitude) and not providing them proper environment (is it a house or a giant rat's nest?).

its a very rare opportunity nowadays to be a SAHM. especially when your husband is capable to be the sole breadwinner. it's like, every mothers dream. and yet. why are you not taking this seriously? to be able to nurture your children until they become the best in everything. to be able to prepare healthy (or sometimes unhealthy) homemade meals everyday. to be able to look your best to your husband when he's back from the office.

if you are unable to fulfill the tasks even though you've done your very best is different. but to purposely reject the tasks although you are very well capable of doing them, that's totally psychotic.

for goodness' sake. even a working mom, or a mother from a poor family can do all those, why can't you?

amanah Allah dipermainkan.

~of bereavement~

2011-06-24T00:47:00.003+08:00

i soooo love this pic, its gonna be in each entry until i decided to change it. ;)

googling/bloghopping around, i came across an article from a blog.

Disamping para malaikat dan Hurul-aini (bidadari syurga), maka kanak-kanak yang meninggal dunia sebelum baligh, juga menyambut kedatangan ibu bapanya di pintu syurga. Sabda Rasullulah saw yang bermaksud : " Ketika aku mikraj ke langit, tiba-tiba aku mendengar suara kanak-kanak. Aku bertanya : " Wahai Jibril, siapakah mereka itu?" Jibril menjawab : Mereka adalah anak cucu orang Islam yang meninggal dunia sebelum baligh. Mereka itu di asuh oleh Nabi Ibrahim as sampai orang tuanya datang." (HR. Abu Daud)

Anak-anak orang Islam yang meninggal dunia pada waktu kecil, dia alam Barzakh dia dikumpulkan pada suatu tempat di bawah penjagaan Nabi Ibrahim as. Setelah kiamat tiba, mereka langsung dipindahkan ke dalam syurga. Jadi mereka tidak melalui Mahsyar,hisab,mizan dan sebagainya.

Sabda Rasullullah SAW yang bermaksud : "Tiap-tiap anak orang Islam yang mati sebelum baligh akan dimasukkan ke dalam syurga dengan rahmat Allah." (HR. Bukhari dan Muslim)

Setelah dipindahkan ke dalam syurga, maka anak-anak kecil ini lupa kepada kehidupan dunia. Mereka lupa kedua ibu bapanya, lupa kepada kampung halamnanya dan sebagainya. Tiba-tiba pada suatu hari, ketika mereka sedang bermain-main menikmati kesenangan syurga, maka ada malaikat yang memberitahukannya: "Wahai Wildan, lupakah kamu kepada kedua orang tuamu?Sekarang mereka sudah berada di pintu syurga. "Ketika itulah baru mereka tahu dan ingat kembali kepada ayah bonda mereka yang selama ini mereka lupakan.

Mendengar apa yang dikatakan oleh malaikat itu, dalam keadaan menangis dan membawa air dengan segera mereka berlari menuju ke pintu syurga. Sesampainya di sana, mereka melihat Hurul-aini sedang tegak berbaris sepanjang jalan dengan memakai pakaian dan perhiasan yang serba indah.

Setelah pintu syurga terbuka, dengan diiringi nyanyian merdu Hurul-aini, maka orang-orang pun berebut masuk ke dalamnya, dan ketika itulah anak-anak kecil ini sibuk mencari kedua ibu bapanya. Mereka mencari ke sana ke mari, tetapi tidak berjumpa. Sambil menangis dan memgang air tangan maka pergilah mereka kepada malaikat serta bertanya: "Wahai malaikat, mana ayah dan ibu kami?"

Menjawab malaikat: Wahai Wildan, sungguh malang nasib kamu, kedua orang tua kamu terjatuh ke dalam neraka." Mendengar ungkapan yang demikian itu, maka anak kecil tadi menangis sejadi-jadinya, menangis menghiba dengan ratapan yang menyayat hati: "Wahai ibuku, wahai ayahku,apakah kesalahanmu,apakah dosamu sehingga kamu terjatuh ke dalam neraka?Begitulah ratapan mereka.

Berkata Malaikat: "Wahai wildan jangan menangis, pergilah kamu memohon bantuan kepada Nabi Muhammad SAW." Setelah anak kecil ini mengadu kepada Nabi Muhammad SAW, maka Nabi Muhammad pun mengangkat kedua tangannya berdoa, lalu dikeluarkanlah orang-orang mukmin yang berda dalam neraka itu. Inilah syafaat Nabi Muhammad SAW yang ketiga di akhirat. Petama pada waktu ditimbang antara dosa dan pahala, yang kedua pada waktu meniti Shiratul Mustaqim yang ketiga ketika mengeluarkan orang dari dalam neraka. Maka ketika itu bertemulah antara anak-anak kecil tadi dengan kedua orang tuanya dengan perasaan gembira.

Firman Allah SWT yang maksudnya : "Pada hari itu mereka berjumpa dengan perasaan gembira. " (Ad-Dahr: 11)

gosh i'm so covered with sins. thank you Aidan Iman. Mama and Abah, well we can't thank you enough for all this.

i thank you too Allah for the strength you've given me and Izam throughout this ordeal.
the most important thing is, we have each other to support each other.

i know i won't survive my bereavement if i don't have Izam around.
going through the everyday routine, it felt more like weird. not sad.
its like i'm half awake or something.
like i said before. i felt like you are in a boarding school. too far for me to visit. too far for you to come back home.
but for now i want to focus on moving on. remember, i have your Abah to take care of too.

although it feels more like him taking care of me.

you are in each of my prayers. kadang2 berdoa dah macam buat surat cinta for you hehe mwahmwah.
i hope they reached you.
insyaAllah. Allah itu Maha Penyayang lagi Maha Mengasihani juga Maha Pemurah.
do pray for us too my dear.

anyway so comel on the statement, diasuh oleh Nabi Ibrahim as sampai orang tuanya datang.
my mind is conjuring a sight of you standing on your own feet by yourself, smiling, wearing a white jubah and kopiah, running around. ;)
ok sounds like a typical malay drama interpretation there.
Aidan Iman shayang, main elok2 ok. you've just earned a slot in heaven, without going through the tinniest bit of hassle. you're so lucky, you know that Aidan Iman. ;)

~it's gotta be you by BSB~

2011-06-10T22:00:00.003+08:00

adalah lagu terakhir saya karaoke dengan Aidan Iman.
no I dont push Aidan Iman to listen to nasyid and ayat al-quran 24/7. I wanted a balanced life for him.

it seems like everyone's been wondering whether i am doing ok or not.
ko ok tak.
ko ok tak.
ko ok tak.

im sorry but, seriously if i received 1 more question like that i'm gonna die. faint. whichever comes first.

no i'm not doing ok yet.
come one ppl, its been only a week. duhhhhhhh
but im working towards it.
and asking that same question over and over again aint helping, darlings.
in another word, inside im shattered, heartbroken, mentally worn out, tear duct's dries out, body's in exhaustion mode. but im trrryyyiingg to move on.
and i HAVE to move on for the sake of my husband. he's badly wounded too, probably even worse than i am. but he's staying strong for me, so i have to do the same for him.

when my mummy died it took me years to recover. yearsssss
so do the math.

alhamdulillah. Allah is great. Allah is just.
the moment he took away the person i loved most, he blew some extra strength in me.
could it be Aidan's strength, wallahu'alam.
but i guess that's why i didnt faint or anything.

no i'm not ready yet to publicly post, reminisce and discuss the horrible if not horror event that had happened.
i am instead reminiscing all those happy memories that i had with Aidan Iman. helps me with my 'rehab'.

this world is temporary, as what we all already know lah.
so i am a little at ease because i know i'm gonna meet him again one day. :)
oddly enough, i am so positive that i'm gonna meet him again one day, that it makes me feel as if he was away at a prestigious boarding school of some sort. i hope im not going insane.

how lucky and proud i am to have conceived, gave birth and took care of seorang ahli syurga yang memang direct masuk syurga, tiada lencongan.
thank you Allah. :)
aku meredhai segala ketentuanMu.

~macam-macam gaya Aidan~

2011-06-10T09:53:00.004+08:00

"i am full Mama! stop pushing me to eat!"
"i don't want to eat, i just want to play!"
one of his way of saying NO. apparently he did this in all situations when he wanted to say he disagreed. kadang2 tengah riba pun dia wat camni if he disagreed on something like, i took his toy away for example. haven't i told you he's not a crybaby?

always always did this whenever we put him into his car seat. Abah said, "macam naik bas." hehe. sometimes he will pull the seatbelt to lick it. ala2 flying fox gitu. ;)

~harini Aidan Iman genap 8 bulan~

2011-06-05T14:46:00.003+08:00

he can pronounce "Ab-ba" which means Abah. since few weeks ago.

suka splash2 masa mandi dalam tub. tapi splash skali, tengok Mama, Mama angguk and said "splash splash!", Aidan senyum. splash lagi. ulang semua di atas.

clingy amat.

favorite toy adalah shape blocks dia. tapi bukan blocks tu, kotak blocks tu yang dia suka main. tuang semua block keluar, then main ngan kotak jek.

kalo tiarapkan, dia suka main pusing2 macam jam.

suka nak main karpet, walopun dah halang letak dia jauh2, dia berusaha nak ke karpet jugak hehe. slalu kena marah ngan Abah. :P Abah cakap sebab karpet warna merah, menarik gitu.

kalo tak dapat karpet, lantai pun jadilah. main tepuk2 lantai macam drum.

kalo letak dekat meja pun tepuk2 meja sekuat hati.

bought him straw cup last week, bila kasi je dia konfius mende la Mama bagi nih hehe.

to be continued..

~Abah sengal~

2011-05-31T18:29:00.000+08:00

chatting with dear husband on gtalk.

koji:

awak

dear

sayang

comot

solat ke?

comot...fineeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

~anak2 cumil : yoga time~

2011-05-30T02:00:00.004+08:00

gambar kat kelas yoga beberapa minggu lepas.
more stories here. tumpang ye CikLin hehe.
Aidan with his mak sepupu, Julia. ;)

ini gambar sudah jadi my profile pic kat henfon. cumil sungguh!

~about my Mummy~

2011-05-27T03:25:00.000+08:00

mother's day dah lepas. but after reading my CikLin's entry on our dearest Mamatok, saya terpanggil untuk membuat entry ini. ;)

arwah Mummy memang seorang yang sangat tegas. atau in english, strict.

she loved *past tense :(* ayam bahagian dada.
same like me.
she loved plums.
same like me.
she loved orchids.
she was very good in cross stitch. in fact the walls of our house were covered with her framed cross stitches. mainly flowers.
she loved to menyulam. and made our gowns from scratch. so basically she loved to sew. she even taught our maid to do cross stitch. and me, of course. i started my own cross stitch project since i was 10, i guess.
she loved baking. her favorites were kek batik, trifle, bread pudding and cream puffs.

every night she put errm wet ashes or something on my eyebrows to make them thicker and darker. hehe. :P it is said that, i have eyebrows like Mona Lisa. ok tipu, Mona Lisa takde eyebrow langsung.
once a week, i think, she put a mixture of raw eggs, i think egg yolks, and tamarind paste, into my hair and leave it for a while. smelt horrid huhu. the reason; to make my hair color darker and much more lustrous.
once a week, i had a sea salt bath. berendam beberapa jam dalam bath tub. for skin.

kecik2 dah undergo beauty treatment. ;) made by my own Mom.

kena paksa join taekwondo since standard 2. kena paksa because the teacher was very strict oneeeeee.
joined the school english club eventhough i was too young. underage gitu. just because she's an english teacher hehe.
also joined the school nasyid team padahal too young.
kena paksa join hafazan school team. hahaha. paksa ok. biasala kanak2. :P so my mummy bought a set of cassettes of surah2 untuk i hafal. surah2 dalam muqaddam jela hehe.
every morning in the car going to school, she taught us the 99 nama Allah. so everyday, or every two day she taught a new one. and we repeated them from number 1.

no junk food. no asam boi. no carbonated drinks (dah ada ke zaman tu?). at all. even if i bought lets say jambu potong at the school canteen pun i wont ask for the asam boi. punyela takut. ;)
everday during recess she bought me food instead of me buying them myself. untung Mak mengajar satu skolah hehe.
each of us had to eat 3 small sticks of raw carrot. uuuu at that time raw carrots were not. that. tasty.
tv only during weekends. or i think at night after finishing homeworks.
if i had any english words i dont understand, she wont translate them for me, instead she shoved a dictionary to me. to find it myself. ;)
buku2 latihan adalah sentiasa up setahun. so kalau masa darjah 2 buat latihan darjah 3.

story books!!!
my first story book was "misteri rumah tua" dari siri "tujuh penyiasat".
that time i was 7 or 8 years old.
yes a malay book.
she bought me a book every week kot. ntah. but not all series at once la.
then my english exam results dropped, and she stopped buying me malay books ever since.
english books from that moment.
pastu result bm plak drop haha. but i guess since she was an english teacher, she looked at my english first kot. :P
not all books were new.
once a week Papa will send me and a friend of mine, Linie, to the national library and left me there (zaman dulu mana ada kidnap2 budak huhu) for few hours, and when its time to go back, i will borrow any books i want and Linie's mom will pick us up. her house were only a few metres away from mine.
or sometimes Mummy brought me to Bangsar Rental (skarang dah takde) and i borrowed books from there. kalau sayang kat buku tu, tak pulangkan terus hehe. ada deposit, kira burn la deposit tu. ;)
so anyway, she bought me all those classics; black beauty, david copperfield, and enid blytons' and others which i cant recall.

she always recited her doa lepas solat out loud that i actually hafal until now. ;)
she never let me ironed my own clothes, washed my own school shoes, or help with any of the house chores. if i offered to help with any of those she said, "pergi buat latihan".

she always kiss us goodnight every night.

--------------------------------------------

i can say im proud of myself because i can go on living without a mom.
its hard to not have a mom by your side while growing up. while going through teenage years. while preparing for your wedding. while being pregnant.
but actually, being kinda independent for so long, i cant imagine myself what its like if my Mummy's there through all the above.
so kudos to myself. ;)
and huge kudos to my siblings. =)

~lovely bones~

2011-05-26T17:53:00.000+08:00

HBO, silalah stop tayangkan cerita sedih ini.
yang pegi tengok sape suruh kan, tapi nak tengok jugak. tambahan pula husband rajin bagitau, "awak, cite awak ni kat tv."
LOL why cite saya why why.

its from a book. biasala movie nowadays. tak penah baca, but rasanya my CikLin penah kot. did you?

~on the news~

2011-05-26T12:51:00.002+08:00

last night i watched 360 on tv3 about the land slide at hulu langat tuh.
gosh it touched me deep. cried kaw2. husband's not at home though, working night shift.
Aidan je teman Mama nangis2, but Aidan was busy playing with his toys. or was it banging on his toys? *so proud of you that you prefer toys and books than entertainment stuffs mwahmwah sangat anak Mama*

i was reminded when my mummy died 16 years ago. i was so in shocked that, all the while i watched and seen these happened around me, on the tv most of the times, never did it struck me that its gonna happen to me one day.

whenever Izam's working night shift, or simply said, when's he's not around me and Aidan. i will always make sure purse + handphone and pouch + house keys will always be near me. all the time. in case i need to make a quick getaway.

there are times (dulu2 zaman Aidan belum lahir) i kept a knife under Izam's pillow. yela kalo letak under my own pillow karang terluka diri sendiri plak. tapi since rasa macam bahaya plak, i stop doing that.

sekian.

~shhhh~

2011-05-26T00:43:00.003+08:00

let me tell you a secret.
im in love with ipad2.

like since earlier this year?
can't remember.

but i've been drooling over it eveb before the announcement of ipad2 release.
so okay, im actually in love with ipad.
but while surveying and calculating my budget (haha), apple leaked the news on ipad2.

so i waited.

so now what's the big news on that? everyone's been talking about ipad. its the in thing today.

because im not always that heyhoo on gadgets.
i can use my handphone until it can fall apart easily in my hands, until the model is obsolete. and will still use it.
i dont care if im the last person on earth to own that model. as long as im comfortable with it. as long as its still usable.

(Izam do care though haha)

so anyway.
ipad2 released its model, err last month? cant remember.
so much for the love haha.
i was on the edge of excitement ok, never before i felt that way. now i understand how those tech savvy felt like when they want to own something latest in the market. :P
no i never considered of taking a leave just to queue on the friday of its release. belum tahap itu hehe.
the next day, or was it that evening, i got to know that apple online stores were opening sales for ipad2. oh melonjak kegembiraan.

you know, from targeting the lower models, trus nak yang up punya. just because i was so fed up of waiting for too long haha.

but then i was still contemplating, to buy or not to buy.
was it a necessity.
was it important.
will i use it always. mahal ma, bli kene guna slalu.

Izam had been to machines store at OU countless of times, just to survey for me. during his off days la.
until he also has develop a liking towards it. LOL.

then one day, finally i decided to buy it.
Izam went to machines @ OU. habis stock.
serious frust menonggeng. nearly cried in frustration.
they said will restock in another 2-3 weeks time. OMG.

so yeah. i ordered online.
and few days ago. i cancelled my order.
because?

eh i never tell you why i fall in love with ipad2 yet.
because.
its actually for Aidan. :P
yes it is.
and of coursela, for my usage too hehe.

so back to why i cancelled my order. kalau tak by early of next month dah dapat.
because:

1 - err sebab yang pertama rahsia hahaha bleh ke camtu.
2 - bibi reminded me on the limits of electronic devices on children. enough said. i guess i've forget on that. if not why i bought lots of books, flash cards, development toys, limit Aidan's time on tv, play a lot with him, let him play by himself etc etc. if i really buy ipad for him, then all those effort byebye down the drain.
3 - all those waiting for ipad2 has got me hooked on something else. haha. blame the apple store.
4 - ipad3 release end of this year? muntah la camtu, sampai bila tak beli2 kalo asyik tunggu latest model. :P

but i regretted that i cancel my order because:

1 - all those waiting and frustrations and happiness then frustration again and nearly in tears and budgeting - for nothing. empty handed.
2 - .................

so....no decisions yet. :P kita lihatlah kalo machines OU dah restock.....err....
ihateyouipad.

~unexpected frens~

2011-05-24T13:20:00.002+08:00

1~
zaman2 mula dapat kereta, i used to service my car at perodua balakong. nearer to my parent's house (kajang). then somehow i forgot why, i changed to perodua subang. that's a huge jump; perodua balakong is like HQ or something, a very big place, and perodua subang is like a small bengkel attached to petronas petrol station. the first time i went there, the errr person at the counter, Kak Miera, was very friendly. she even said, "kete liyana jek yang plet kelantan yang servis kat sini." dengan loghat utara pekat dia hehe. i loved the warm environment, and they serviced my car excellently, no rosak so far, so i stick with that place even though kajang-subang is faaarrr. up until now, dah kawin, and i dah berzaman tak pegi servis kereta (since Izam keje shift so slalunye die pi servis during weekdays hehe), Izam maintain going to that place. Izam said, "dah kenal, senang kalau pape." memang tiapkali balik dari servis kete mesti ade je cerita Izam yang die bergosip ngan Kak Miera. Kak Miera always asks me to come (through Izam la), nak tengok Aidan la jugak kan hehe but yela, weekdays of coursela i cannot, and to go there sesaje jumpe Kak Miera macam seganla plak hoho.

2~
masuk toilet at office, jengjengjeng, ade henfon orang tertinggal kat dalam. i was like, aih, apsal asyik jumpe henfon orang tinggal. ni dah masuk kali ke 3 kot. so of coursela i amik kan. because i penah lost my handphone kerana tertinggal dalam toilet, so i dont want them to receive the same fate as i did. baik tak baik tak. so i took it to my place, and just hope someone would, i dunno, call or something. then yeah, someone did call, and it was THE NURSERY.

"kak, anak akak ni asyik nangis je dari tadi, saye taktau nak buat ape ni."

OMG gelabah gila ok. i said this is not my handphone, i found it blablabla and the person did not understand so i just said, "nanti saye inform yer."

then i noticed a few people, few rows in front of me was busy using the office phone. while i was watching, the handphone rang again. i saw office number on the screen and said, "hello?" and the call dropped. twice. but i managed to hear the sound in the background, similar to my surrounding. the third call, i just stood up and waved the handphone to the 'few people' and said, "awak punye ke?" ok i was right. hehe. the girl was so thankful and everything, haruslah kalo ade orang wat camni kat i pun i macam nak nangis gembira kot. baik tak baik tak hehe. :P
and until this day, we're friends hehe. walopun tak ingat nama (my bad), but kalo terserempak kat parking jalan masuk building sama2, jumpa kat surau lepak borak2 etc. ;)

~kerja dari rumah~

2011-05-20T13:29:00.002+08:00

baik je bunyi kerja dari rumah hehe.
minggu ni kerja dari rumah. sempena Aidan kena measles huhu.
my poor lil boy, kecik2 dah kena measles.
good thing kot kena kecik2. tak reti nak scratch merata lagi hehe. jaga kulit hokehhh..
started off with high fever. followed by ear infection and ulcer kat anak tekak.
his appetite dropped tremendously. merunsingkan Mama and Abah huhu.
masa ni Aidan kena paksa makan a little (through syringe) and minum a lot (bf of course) because takut kena admitted.
hampir2 admitted (because of his appetite loss, takut dehydrated) but alhamdulillah blood test result showed otherwise.
2 kali buat blood test result, 3 kali doc visit. shian Aidan..
i don't care lah banyak kali doc visit pun as long as tak admitted. trauma....

so anyway he's improving now. kesemua dah hilang, kecuali red spots tu ada lagi sikit here and there.

harini first day introduce plums. lepas dah steam and puree, i tasted it and err mashamm shikitt.
but then bagi jela hihi.
and Aidan loves it....like what...???!
siap menambah gitu. probably he's bored with food yang manis and tawar. makan plum puree muka berselera je takde riak muka macam makan makanan masam pun hehe. :D

so malam ni Aidan's dinner's gonna be plum puree with avocado puree+ebm.. :P

~he is 7 months old !!!~

2011-05-05T19:18:00.002+08:00

and still in the so-called golden age of babyhood. hehe.

getting very very mobile. very very curious. everytime i need to put him on the toto (currently guna toto je, we are so in need of a playmat! found it at metrojaya, curve actually but don't know when to buy it. nyesal tak beli arituh huhu) i'll make sure its clear of any small items, since he can move around a lot now, and loves grabbing and putting stuffs into his mouth.

he loves all the food i prepared. masa mula2 intro solid je dia suka buat muka. but now, everything i suap dia telan dengan gembira hehe. Abah asks to limit his intake of solid, because HE IS EATING A LOT.

next upcoming "weaning project": pumpkin, squash, plums ....
well, tak banyak since i'm still introducing a new food within 3-4 days timeframe window.
today i just introduced sweet potato. and yeah no surprise, he ate it like its his favorite food. siap kalo lambat suap marah. hehe.

since last week, his clingy attitude is getting err.. worse...? tak bleh letak kejap dah bunyi2. no he wont cry. merengek je. ever since i left in laws' house after confinement, i make it as a habit explaining to him about why i'm leaving him for a while, like if i want to make a quick dash to the toilet. but now the explaining-ing, which usually took 1 minute, is expanding to like 5-10 minutes. dah macam karangan dah hehe. once in a while i do chores with him strapped in ssc. just so to show him things that i do when i leave him alone. but i limit those times, it wont do good for his physical development. ;)

ada one night tu i was so tired, i didnt even woke up when Aidan did for his night feeding. saya jaga sebab dalam mimpi sangat aneh whyla Aidan nangis tak brenti. cian huhu. later that day i realized that his cries sounded like, "ma..ma...ma..." ada tiga suku kata la tapi hehe..

he can drink from a cup now. so now i want to train him to drink from a straw. ;) sippy cup, can be introduced afterwards, as per my reading.

he's getting wary of hospitals and doctors now haha. everytime jumpa Dr. Syed mak aih kedekut senyuman. and he will give him something like a, deadly stare...? senyum la skali skala because Dr. Syed is so nice to him, but he understands now that seeing Dr. Syed is never a good thing. :P last week dia batuk and we went for a second opinion at TMC, with Dr. Pria. yup, first time jumpa until the last (3 times je pun) he NEVER smiles at Dr. Pria. hehe. tapi dekat nurses smile. hamboi2. :P

stail nak merangkak dah ada. merangkak tak tau bila. hehe. but Abah said, on a positive note its good. easier to watch over him. ;)

he loves it when i give him cut fruits in his fresh food feeder. he knows that if i give him that, its food. hehe. but bila dah taknak, main hempuk2 plak the feeder. end up comot top to toe. makanan melekat everywhere, except in the mouth hehe.

no stranger anxiety yet.

oh ada one time, i put him on the toto in front of the tv, as usual. went to the kitchen to do some stuffs. then intai die kejap, tengah meniarap sambil selak2 buku (the cloth book). i asked Izam (he was doing something else too but while keeping an eye on Aidan), did he gave him the book to read. Izam said, "taklah, die mengengsot sendiri amik buku tu baca." OMG, so anak Mama. :D

oh and aunty Dalin, your book is the FIRST book yang di introduce kat Aidan, obviously kan hehe. read to him ever since dalam pantang lagi. he loves it so much, sampai dah nak koyak sebab bile lift the flap die sibuk nak lift skali hehehe. :P

oh oh oh. haritu Aidan pegi kelas yoga!! so cute, but the pics aren't with me. its a trial class. pegi sekali je kot hahaha because the class starts at 11 am which is like very early to me since i have to prepare Aidan like 2 hours earlier gitu. yela mandi makan and everything. the place is at solaris mont kiara, not that far though. and kesian kat Aidan (and Mama!!) because have to wake up early plak during weekends. ;) so, pending dulu nak continue ke tak hehe. furthermore his father is not a fan of yoga, unlike his mother, so the excitement is kinda one-sided. :P

still fully bf, syukur alhamdulillah. ;)

if playing peekaboo with him, he'll quickly grab whatever it is between me and him (normally his pillow) and toss it aside and smiles widely as if saying I found you!, when i said, "mana Aidan Iman yer..". kadang2 tak sempat habis ayat dah grab siap2 hehe.

he's a very good driving companion. behaves very well in his car seat. except if i'm beside him, then mula la lepas sejam dua perjalanan merengek nak keluar seat. i need to nyorok (menempel la i celah2 car seat tu hehe) from his sight hehe then dia akan senyap balik. so memang sangat senangla if i have to travel alone somewhere with him. and Abah pun suka. ;) because when he's not working, he'll pick Aidan up first kat taska (KD) before picking me up at office (cyberjaya).

sudah pandai tergeleng2 kalo taknak. hehe. cumil.

oh sungguh panjang. :P

~buku~

2011-05-03T16:45:00.003+08:00

last week jenjalan di Curve. beli syampu and conditioner saya. pastu terserempak ngan MPH fair kat tengah2 tu.
terserempak ok. :P

and bought these.
1 for Mama 2 for Aidan. none for Abah. hehe.

p/s: nadia nita, i baru beli hehe. now tengah sakan baca dengan Aidan.. :P

~cuti~

2011-05-01T01:12:00.005+08:00

smalam adalah hari berehat. memang rehat sungguh. rasa cam dah berbulan (or is it nearly stahun?) tak tido tengahari, alih2 tido tengahari lepas bf Aidan sampai tido.
bangun pun sebab kena lempang ngan Aidan. ya stail baru beliau. kejut Mama dengan pukulan2 manja. pagi tadi kejut Mama bangun Subuh dengan memukul lengan Mama banyak kali.

now his acceptance towards weaning is much much better. makan sangat banyak sampai Abah suruh Mama limit the food hoho because Mama main bagi je until Aidan signal kata konyang. signal? menyembur makanan, not swallowing the food, geleng2 pale, menggeliat sana sini (mengelak sudu), merengek2.

Aidan is not a crybaby, eventhough he's still a baby. :P jaaaaarang sangat dia nangis. "nangis bila lapar je." said his grandmother. most of the time merengek je. even Abah pun cakap, "Abah bangga lah dengan Aidan Iman ni. good boy sangat, mudah jaga."
Aidan, please take note of this. ;)
Aidan's grandmother and great grandmother pun cakap, "bila Mama and Abah nye nak gi tengok wayang? tinggal la Aidan kat kitorang. mudah betul jaga Aidan."

Aidan, please maintain this attitude sampai besar yer hehehehe. please bebeh please please.

now he is getting more and more mobile. bergolek berguling sesuka hati. we need to start childproofing our home. ade pernah skali die bergolek2 sampai ke lantai. pastu tekejut kepala kene lantai bile terlentang, nangis ngada2 sekejap hehe.

~the bookworm in him~

2011-04-27T00:00:00.000+08:00

baca buku sambil ditemani teddy mama. eh, mama je bleh ade teddy. :P
tak sabar nak shopping buku lagi dengan Aidan. my plan to buy a bookshelf for Aidan blom tercapai lagi.
my nursing pillow skarang dah jadi his sofa hehe.
i'll surely make sure he will love books as much as i do. for he is IN the bookworm family. ;)

~cuteness~

2011-04-26T23:31:00.004+08:00

ain't it cute, seeing your husband sleeping SOUNDLY with your son side by side in front of the TV? a.k.a bergelimpangan. sorang tertiarap. sorang terlentang. guess which is which. :P

come to think of it, i lost my book "sweetness in the belly". rasenye banyak je lagi buku "hilang" (i always always always forgot who borrowed my book so, my mistake there).

am aiming for few books anyway.
annabel karmel's.
the hunger game trilogy.

Aidan is nearly 7 months old. and i finally got to write about his weaning journey here. ;)
just some short stuffs, am not too free either.

first food : avocado puree. paed suggested rice cereal but yeah, stubborn me (Aidan, please don't inherit too much of this trait of mine hehe) i followed my instinct. and the internet. and some advices. :P

i reallllllly need annabel karmel's book. susahla asyik nak cek internet huhu. yeah old fashioned me, i prefer books to internet.

next food:
banana = he doesn't love much. so i end up mixing it with avocado later on.
apple = he loves it! but not as much as avocado.
carrot = he is okay with it. sometimes makan macam favorite food, sometimes taknak. well he finally knows that there are a variety of food out there so, bleh choose2 dah. ;) clever boy!
porridge = made it real smooth. just introduced this yesterday. he looks okay, his acceptance is just like to carrots.

future food?
probably more sayur, broccoli. paed suggested cauliflower and errr some others, tak tumpu perhatian hehe. :P and maybe pears. and more avocados. clueless dah. poyo. alasan nak buku annabel karmel.

ke Aidan nak RV cake? :P

~annoying~

2011-04-22T16:19:00.003+08:00

kenapakah wujud orang yang annoying macam kau.
yang hari2 berhati jahat macam kau.
aku berdoa banyak2 semoga anak cucu cicit kau tidak inherit perangai buruk kau.

besar dugaanMu ya Allah. namun besar jugalah ganjaranMu, insyaAllah.

~masa itu emasberlianplatinum~

2011-04-14T23:55:00.003+08:00

mata dah ngantuk, jam dah kul 12am, esok nak bangun awal nak gi keje awal coz kene balik awal (konfius tak tang keje, abaikan).

harini rasa sangat gagah perkasa sebab dari kereta angkat beg notebook (yang dalam tu sumbat handbag skali), pastu beg breastpump (yang dalam tu sumbat cooler bag with ebm), and then Aidan. terimakasihdaunkeladi kepada carrier, berjaya saya dukung Aidan dengan selamat sampai rumah bersama perkakas2 di atas. bak kata Apit, macam nak gi perang.

hari2 rasa tak cukup masa. paling frust kalau tengah2 nak tidokan Aidan, turut sama tertido, dah bazir masa berjam2 yang bleh buat hal2 berkaitan pakaian, masak, kemas barang Aidan untuk ke taska hari esok dan macam2.

setiap minit with Aidan (di kala Aidan jaga) adalah sangat2 berharga. kadang2 saya tolak tepi semua house chores dulu, macam harini, so that bleh main, membaca, borak dengan Aidan dengan fokus. bukan sekadar main 5 minit, pastu tinggal Aidan terkial2 dengan toys.

mungkin time management saya masih huru hara. luckily Izam sangat memahami. beliau banyak tolong dari segi house chores. cam kalo saya tertido masa tidokan Aidan and at the same time saya basuh baju, die akan jemur baju tu. or kalau time2 die tak keje, macam2 lah buat. serviskan kete. hantar/amik dobi. beli barang2 untuk rumah.

kadang2 rasa kesian kat Izam sebab bagi saya his off days adalah his resting days. atau his ronggeng2 days. saya faham, sebab dulu kan penah keje shift gak. tapi.. i really need the help huhu. he's the best. this year nak bagi besday present ape eh hehe.

mungkin kena stat wat balik scheduling system macam zaman2 blaja dulu..

nite all~

~big boh junior [updated]~

2011-04-03T11:27:00.001+08:00

sedang memantau Mama lipat baju. amboi, sedapnye duduk silang kaki.
rocker tinggalkan kat taska. membazir beli baru lagi satu kerana nak beli kerusi makan yeehaa.

[update]
Mama suruh lipat napkin die pi lap mulut (biasela baby sume bawak ke mulut hehe) pastu gumpal2.

pembelajaran Aidan pada masa ini : belajar lipat baju. kenal baju Abah Mama Aidan. kenal warna dan corak. dengar nyanyian Mama yang sedap wiwit.

~entering the 28th year~

2011-04-03T00:57:00.003+08:00

my two precious.
.
.
.
.
.
its not the gifts that touched me.
its the EFFORT.

like seriously, if you've tried any harder, i would be on the ground, crying. hehe.

starting when i decided to take leave on that day due to unplanned stuff.
you started to look uneasy. so i guessed i had ruined your plan(s)?
sorry huhu.
but i had to. :)

it was an awesome day. we had cake (dah lama tingin makan cake tapi sanggup tunggu besday wahahaha) and dinner at home. with Aidan blabbering nonstop. it was one wonderful birthday dinner. ;)

completed with an eventful day at the office the next day....

thanks so much sweetheartsugarbunmuffinpie.
honestly sweetie, i feel oldddddddddddd.

~i hate u vacuum~

2011-03-28T14:08:00.003+08:00

pada suatu hari, sedang saya dimandikan Mama, Abah dengan rajinnya memvakum rumah. Oh no!

saat kedengaran bunyi vakum, saya terdiam diri dan telah cuak.

namun Mama tidak mengendahkan saya dan menyiap2 kan saya seperti biasa. saya sudah berasa sedih dan kecil ati.

oleh kerana Abah masih lagi memvakum maka saya mengambil langkah protes dengan menangis lebih kuat dari bunyi vakum.

Mama pula sangat annoying mengambil2 gambar dan gelakkan saya pula. jadi untuk memujuk diri sendiri saya pun makan kaki. bukan makan hati.
sekian,
Aidan si kecil ati

Mama : Aidan, bunyi vakum pun dah sedih, bagaimanakah mama nak bawak Aidan naik plane nanti? haish....

~expo.sure~

2011-03-21T07:32:00.006+08:00

tujuan asal ke motherhood expo. tapi barang2 yang di cari tak semua ada, agak kecewa, end up gi babyjaya gak lepas tu. so kami lepak lebih lama kat property fair hehe.

khusyuk betul dak kecik ni hehe..

~kelasakan melanda~

2011-03-20T18:03:00.003+08:00

ni masa mula2 nak pi jemur baju...

lepastu rasa tak sedap hati, jenguk2 dah jadi camni...

nampak harmless so tinggalkan camtu jek..lepas jemur lagi sehelai baju, tengok2 dah camni plak...

Abah.. lihatlah anak bujang anda ini..

~Aidan Iman's paed~

2011-03-15T13:56:00.002+08:00

i used to search hi n low for the best paed for Aidan. but in the end, the paed found us hehe.
Aidan's current paed is at KJMC. we UHUed ourselves to him ever since we met him during Aidan's first jab. masa Aidan lahir i never get to see him.

i like the way he handled Aidan, you know, macam kalo dia nak cek Aidan's throat and Aidan nak nangis ke, he will go,"okay sayang okay sayang sorry sorry."

and we are so at ease around him. sangat comfortable. dia sangat sengal juga hehe.

and another thing yang sangat menyentuh hati kami adalah pada satu kejadian.

1 day Aidan's fever peaked. masa tu Izam's working and i was at Klang with Aidan. it was around 8 pm. and at that very last minute i decided to go KJMC (outpatient). i called and they said Dr. Syed is in, his clinic closed at 9 pm. we (me, FIL, MIL) quickly get dressed and drove there. meanwhile Izam pergi KJMC inform Dr. Syed we're coming. because i know i wont make it on time, imagine masa gerak tu dah kul 8.40pm gitu. dalam kalut2 tu, bleh plak sesat kannnnnnnnn. battery henfon kong, FIL tak bawak his. so i cant contact Izam. and i dah redha Dr. Syed balik. sampai2, rupanya Dr. Syed tunggu....and it was 10pm....

Dr. Syed tak tunggu dah, trus check Aidan etc. never mentioned anything pasal kami lambat ke apa.

masa Aidan admitted high fever in December2010 pun, he was so nice. ada one time he wanted to visit Aidan kat bilik around 10am kot, and the nurses said we're sleeping (oh yes terbungkam baik punya haha) and Dr. Syed cakap, "takpelah i datang later, dorang penat kot." OMG. sungguh baik hati.

and he called me "mummy" haha comel jek. like one time, i tengah smayang blakang pintu and Dr. Syed masuk tengok ada Izam and Aidan je and asked, "where's mummy?" pastu trus cakap ngan Izam in a hushed voice sebab i tengah smayang. ;)

and he apologized to us sebab masa Aidan admitted tu die takde, holiday, mase tu ade Dr. ganti. dia siap cakap, "kalau i tak cuti nanti my wife bising hehe." sengal ok. :P
imagine masa Dr. ganti tu nak datang, patient sume pakat discharge ok, nurse cakap. patutla mase Aidan admitted ward kosong, sunyi. bile Dr. Syed datang balik, tiba2 ramai patient. hebak ah.

ade skali tu masa pegi Aidan's 4th jab, kuku Aidan panjang. and he said, "ish ish panjangnye kukuuu" and i said, " ketip kuku missing la dr hehe." and he said, "biasela tu, i pun slalu simpan satu kat ofis, sebab nanti anak2 i asyik hilangkan je."

so, yeah, for me, i choose according to the Dr, not the hospital. ;)

~caught redhanded!~

2011-03-13T21:34:00.001+08:00

mentang2 Abah tengah tido, amboi2....

~as saturday goes by~

2011-03-12T22:55:00.004+08:00

good morning dear son..

bath time~
cabut stokin time~
a new hobby of his - cabut his left socks. apsal ntah left socks.

recap of Aidan Iman's development:

smile at 2 m.o tapi sangat precious itu smile so jarang smile.
laugh at 3 m.o.
roll over at .. okay he started to roll over (and angkat kepala) during my confinement, around 1 m.o pastu stop kejap, pastu rolling over balik at 4 m.o gitu.

his new amazing capability is, he can sleep on his own. tosses and turns for a few minutes pastu tetido sendiri.

i think he developed this quite some time already, due to ME always sleep first before HIM, while putting HIM to sleep. haha.

we love you Aidan Iman~

~waffle warf warf~

2011-03-09T21:49:00.001+08:00

2 weeks ago (hamik ko), tiba2 i mengidam waffle. tidak tidak tidak pregnant, sila jangan kecewa.
so i planned with my sister @ kajang for a makan2 at waffle world, OU.

Izam introduced me this place years back, and i got hooked up ever since.

heret adik2 yang tak ikut parents balik kelate. yang ujung sana belah kiri bukan saudara darah daging yer hehehe..

seminit sebelum..
seminit selepas..itu feveret toy tamau lepas..
Izam's hot choc with marshmallow
my hot choc without marshmallow
Abe's ice lemon tea (kot) and AbeCik's err errr tak ingat haha. banana milkshake kot.
Daoh's errr mendetah siap ade whipped cream bagai and Noni's... argh gambo jelah. Abe's waffle sandwich and AbeCik's choc waffle.
me and Izam's choc waffle with extra ice cream hula hula. kami memang slalu share sebab tak bleh abis sorang2 hehe.
Noni's waffle. malas dah nak ingat nama haha.
jalan2 lepas makan kejap. pastu beli toys untuk Aidan for being such a darling hehe.
peewiitt :D

~little man of the house~

2011-03-06T21:04:00.004+08:00

is sleeping hehe..tu diaa, kaki baik punya landing..

wow, a little less than a month, Aidan Iman will enter the month of comotnesssss.

ok ini sudah beli bulan lepas. Izam kata, "bukan ke 6 bulan baru makan solid?" I kata, "biasela, teruja lebih, weehuu." harap2 guna....

set pinggan mangkuk die dah ada, a present from PakLong+MamaLong die hehe..see, lagi advance u, lahir2 dah ada set pinggan mangkuk hoho.

skarang tengah study ini.

~sesal sigh~

2011-03-04T11:40:00.002+08:00

ahad ~ membeli belah barangan aksesori wanita di OU.
rabu ~ membeli belah barangan Aidan di Babyjaya.
khamis ~ membeli belah barangan tahpape di Ikea.

mari menyesal sedikit.
sedikit je sebab most barang2 adalah keperluan penting.
lagipun sume cash dan duit sendiri. beli barang duit yang earn sendiri rasa puas.
kalau rasa puas apsal asyik shopping haih..

mungkin kena serahkan kad atm ngan cc kat Izam sebagai langkah berjaga2 untuk hari2 mendatang.
contoh hari2 mendatang adalah harijadi cewah haha.

~melting~

2011-03-02T11:29:00.006+08:00

ok mama, what r u trying to do?

yeah, that's funny mama.

mama, i think you can stop now. *giggles*

oh no mama, i got stitches, i got stitches!

enough mama i cant stop laughing already.

ok mama im clamping my mouth shutttttt

~sports anyone?~

2011-03-01T12:55:00.003+08:00

ok well. im used to be active in sports.
no.
i was FORCED to be active in sports, in the first place. hehe.
my arwah mummy was an avid netball player. no she didnt played for the state or anything, else sure ada gambar pakai skirt pendek sudah hehe.

so when i was in standard 4, she put me in the school netball team. okay, sounds easy because, my mummy was a school teacher there hehe. it was the greatest moment ever because, there i learned about playing netball from basic.

so i was the school player until standard 6. i normally played as center or WA (wing attack) or WD (wing defense). yang "G" memang takde talent langsung haha.

entering form 1. i straightaway joined the throng of girls trying out for the school netball team. and no, i didnt get any. but, that didnt dampened my spirit. i tried until form 3. hehe. degil. keras kepala. determined. :P

form 4, i was transferred to smka slim river. a request from my papa. and where i met my close friends mwah mwah. again, i tried for the school netball team. alhamdulillah, berkat usaha 4 tahun dapat jugak jadi school player haha.

during the sports day, saya wakil rumah sukan untuk netball. ok dah kata school player kan, haruslah menyumbang tenaga. i played center. i loooooooveeee my team, one because, i had the best connection everrrr with my GS, huda, my close friend's sister. we clicked so hebat sampai score kaw2. hehe. yeah she's an awesome netball player herself.. and another because, my team sangat bestttt. i have alel, angah, apart from others..

i remembered, during the final game on our sports day, we played against rumah sukan yang netball team dia sangatla hebat. our school netball team's captain was in that team ok, and she played center too and i was nervous kaw2 punya. she was damn goooood. ada one time, kami (me and the team captain) berebut bola, i cant remember who got the ball first, but both of us taknak lepas, and the next thing i know we were rolling on the grass both clutching hard on the ball. spec saya dah tercampak mane taktau. and i scraped my knee, bleeding gitu, sluar koyak kat lutut. giler ganas macam main ragbi haha. sampai referee tiup wisel baru lepas. wuuuu. but in the end we won. like memang penat gilaaaaaa because the opposing team was awesome. all in all it was an awesome game. ;)

awesome reminiscence.

~baby actors~

2011-02-24T13:25:00.002+08:00

or actresses.

either, it breaks my heart seeing them crying nonstop and no one attends to them. for example in a scene of quarelling parents, and their children are all crying, including their, let's say, 3 months old baby. menangis sampai suara dah habis kuar. if i'm the mother, i cant stand seeing my baby like that, even if it meant killing off his journey to fame or a smashing amount money. although they're just babies, their learning power has started. try be unhappy and nobody listens to you, aint that heartbreaking?

~Aidan lagi. sila jangan bosan haha~

2011-02-23T18:11:00.000+08:00

once i start to write about Aidan darling, i just cant stop. its not everyday i got this opportunity to really sit down and blog. rare indeed nowadays.

so anyway, one thing i've never mentioned here (or to just anyone except close peeps) is me and Izam actually addressed Aidan by his full name, Aidan Iman. since its not that hard to pronounce (well, for us, but not for my complaining young cousins haha) and since well, the meaning themselves are perfect, why shouldnt we? i mean, name is like doa, so addressing him Aidan Iman everytime every second is the best thing we parents can give. :) insyaAllah, you will grow up to be an intelligent (Aidan) and a pious (Iman) man, my dear son.

Izam has been teaching Aidan Iman (okay, typing aint the same as pronouncing hehe but well, to keep pace with everything, so..) menyembuq ayaq liyoq behind my back. teaching okay. teaming up without mama's consent huh? so bye2 long hair, hello new chic haircut. ;) else i'll go bald by the end of the month hehe. nah, if i'm not mistaken post natal hair loss has nothing to do with your baby blowing bubbles but to make things fun, so... :D

and oh, another thing, how do we come up with his name. hehe. well i was pressuring Izam on the names when i was 5 month pregnant i think. and everytime i asked him what should we name our baby, he said, "I". and that's his answer e.v.r.y.t.i.m.e i asked. he even suggested me to sew "Mr. I" on his rompers. as in Mr. Incredibles, wawawa. and yeah, he called "I" everytime he talked to my belly. quite frustrating okayyyy. so i purchased a couple of baby names books (hey, i'm a book collector yada yada) and start searching with names starting with I. cant find much that satisfies our Abah's heart, so i started browsing on the net. i've fallen in love with "Iman" and "Khayr" beforehand hehe but i want THE perfect pair. then i came accross "Aidan", among other few. and "Aidan" can be "I" for its nick, and somehow it sounded perfect. and we finally chose "Aidan Iman" after debating between "Aidan Iman" and "Aidan Khayr". the end. hehe.

he has three favorite toys; one is bumble bee, a part of his playgym. he can practically stare it to sleep. im guessing its the color thing, you know, infants will be more attracted to black white red, something like that. second one is a moth, a part of his portable err gym? gift from cikB, cikNgah and others (sorry tak ingat dah sape the rest hehe) and the third one is a squeaking panda. he chose it himself; i found it at the toys aisle @ parkson OU and pressed it in front of him and he laughed his head off. straightaway bayar, fuhh nasib baik tak mahal hehe.

no pics haha malas upload. :P

~shopping is indeed therapeutic~

2011-02-23T11:05:00.005+08:00

2 weeks ago, i bought some stuffs for Aidan. okay its not something unusual about buying stuffs for Aidan, but the things that i bought excites me hehe.
i was waiting for Izam to finish his work (and Aidan was at Klang at the mo) and i had less than an hour to kill so straightaway i went to the curve (the smaller the shopping complex is, the lesser time it'll take to panic around). the main objective (as what was agreed between me and Izam haha) was to repair my jeans (torn at the knee in Japan and that was like in 2009 haha) at a shop at the underpass (forgot its name). but yeah, that was actually the last my list. instead i bought few shirts for Izam (like i'll go crazy waiting for him to buy some himself) and a cute overall for Aidan. i have this thing for overalls, dunno why. and a footed pj, picked out of panic moment haha pandai salesgirl tuh. and suddenly i remembered about this thing that i saw in mothercare, so went there and bought them at once.

aren't the socks cuteeee? i dont like socks with cartoon prints, so Aidan's socks are only either plain colored or with stripes. okay presents are excluded. and the leggings.....well i've been searching high and low for leggings for boys and the ones that i normally found are not up to my taste cewah. :P and i dont do online shopping for clothes - yet. bought two to test first, if they're really as good as they look, then i can add up.

p/s : Izam memang slalu syakwasangka kalo tiba2 bini dia nak pi shopping sorang adalah MESTI shopping barang dia. awak cerewet sangat wekkk. :P

~2010 anniversary trip~

2011-02-06T02:08:00.020+08:00

last year's anniversary - our 2nd anniversary - we decided to go for a trip.
we really need a trip, a relaxing one that is. ntah apsal rasa exhausted sangat last year, macamla tua sangat ehem ehem. :P

plus ada dak tecik Aidan Iman nih, so takleh nak extreme2 sangat. tiba2 rindu skytrex. baiklah itu tunggu dulu ye mama..

so anyway, we opted for Bukit Tinggi. walopun orang kata tak brape best but hey, we just want to unwind and relax. cameron is too far and too high up.

hari pertama we departed quite late, tengahari kot. dah kata tema percutian "unwind and relax" kan. :P arrived at Berjaya Hills Golf & Country Club, checked in, yada yada yada, room turned out to be awesome. TENKIU ABAH. :D
sesudah berguling seround secara 1family, kami lunch di restoran hotel je sebab malas naik colmar lagi. this hotel is located few km away from colmar tropicale.

kemudian sambung berguling di bilik. hehe.

malam nak naik colmar. skali the guard tak bagi naik. he said, "at night we only allowed hotel guests (colmar tropicale) to pass through." oh sungguh frust skali. we ended up having our dinner kat hotel restaurant. sejibik tu je pun restaurant. pastu masa tengah tunggu food Aidan moody plak, so kami dine in our room je. lagi best plak dine dalam bilik hehe.

the next day we discovered that guard tu tipu. or maybe he's new and doesnt know much. oh sungguh geram maka kami checkout and booked a room kat colmar tropicale plak.

bilik pun sangat gorgeous, unfortunately tak amik gambar bilik. actually one bedroom suite, ada dapur living room segala. oh Abah memang terhebat. last minute pun dapat room hebat. Colmar Tropicale kecik je pun, so lepas tawaf 2 3 kali dan shopping sket, dah lapar. Aidan plak dah tido, syok sangat dalam carrier hehe. we had our lunch at Le Poulet Roti. had roasted chicken which tasted delicious. or mungkin sebab lapar. hehe.

then agenda biasa, berguling di bilik secara 1family lagi. Izam ajak round malam, saja tengok2 sesambil beli dinner. we tapau our dinner of pizza back to our room and lepak main2 ngan Aidan. the next day after breakfast we laze around at our room first, pastu checkout tengahari nya.

view from our room balcony in the morning.
Mr. Mama :D jalan2 after breakfast. Aidan's fast asleep. bye bye room 1001. first stop was Rabbit Park. nengok2 rabbit kejap je, coz the light was blinding me, though its not that hot. sian Aidan pun.

then we gagahkan diri memanjat naik ke Japanese Garden. naik i dukung Aidan. turun Izam plak. huhu.i was a bit disappointed with the gift shop kerana the stuffs sold there macam tak menarik pun. biasala i, jalan2 wajib serbu gift shop hehe.

overall the trip was marvelous!! to go there again? definitely not yet for quite a while hehe i prefer cameron lah. :P really big thanks to Abah for this wonderful trip. ;) mwahh~~

~i'll make it short and simple~

2011-01-28T14:33:00.010+08:00

it starts with this email i received....

and the next thing i know, i crave for these...

*pic source google and m0mma website*
mari ke bookstore berdekatan cari resipi makanan bayi. padahal blend potato siap je haha. tapi tak kira, imma book collector remembah.

~a concern suami~

2011-01-27T11:15:00.002+08:00

"bile awak nak reschedule appointment dengan Dr. Fatima (my previous gynae)?"
~~ appointment for post delivery checkup, bleh tak hoho. appointment asal tak attend sebab masih dalam pantang. tapi sebab utama adalah tak bersedia untuk "diselongkar" lagi huhu..dah penah reschedule skali, pastu doc ade kes plak, di kensel, pastu dah malas nak reschedule. hehe. this husband of mine duk runsing pasal kanser serviks. ok mari call kjmc esok.

"skirt ni dah lama saye tengok awak pakai. taknak beli skirt baru? baju aidan dah banyak kan, bleh stop kejap. beli baju2 awak plak."
~~ dengan kata lain, bosan kot tengok saye pakai baju same jek hehehe..sangat hebat, slalunye takyah suruh shopping, laju je sokmo. ni sampai kene nasihat.

untuk pengetahuan semua, hari2 suami saye hantar gi opis ye tuan2 puan2. damansara - cyber. hantar hambik. awal2 lepas pantang dulu ade gak drive beberapa hari, tapi sebab saye drive bawak Aidan sensorang (Aidan drop di rumah my parents), Izam cam dah tak bagi plak. padahal takde masalah pun. takpe, hormat keputusan suami. opis Izam kat tropicana jek. naik beskal dari rumah pun bleh.

jadi perbelanjaan minyak dan tol telah naik 3 kali ganda. bukan 2 tapi 3 kali ganda. tapi suami tak pandang itu semua. tringat midwife KJMC yang semue orang panggil die "mummy". even doc pun panggil die mummy. mummy pesan kat kitorang mase Aidan kene tahan 5 hari lepas lahir sebab masuk antibiotik, "duit boleh di cari, yang penting anak sihat."

ok takde kaitan plak dengan topik asal hehe.

jadi saye kadang2 kesian ngan suami kalau ade orang yang suka2 nak susahkan beliau. sebab hari2 dia off shift pun bizi hantar hamik saye and Aidan. tu blom kira kadang2 gi beli groceries or ape2 barang without me. sebab kadang2 kitorang kesian asyik nak heret Aidan gi giant la gi OU la semata2 nak beli barang kitorang. so Izam kuar sorang pi beli. dulu2 biasenye tu tugas saye, kuar sorang2 membeli groceries. and kesian tengok Izam, nak kene bukak and tolak stroller/pakai carrier/pegang diaper bag, pastu dah beli barang nak kena hangkut barang lagi since i dukung Aidan.

so saye memang menghormati beliau kalau weekend taknak kluar, nak rehat kat umah. kadang2 la. kadang2 tu i pun nak gak jalan2 ukur OU hehe. dah memang hobi dari dulu adalah ukur shopping complex. tapi lepas ada Aidan, kurang sket. kesian kat both, Aidan and suami.

paling comel dan terharu kalau balik umah tiba2 laundry dah setel. laundry2 ni bukan best ok, lagi2 untuk lelaki. pehtu, umah siap vakum, baju yang kering dah lipat. aih. macam Mr. Mama je plak. tak suke pun ada. coz itu tanggungjawab saye, tugas saye. kadang2 marah gak haha. sebab kesian. mwahmwah.

hadiah terbaik apakah untuk awak besday tahun ni ek?

~three and a half months~

2011-01-21T13:18:00.008+08:00

yeah that's Aidan's age for now.
another half month to enter the so-called 'golden age of babyhood'. hehe.

he can do a lot of things now.
grasp and eat toys. or my face.
focus real hard on books when i read them. and eventually eat them. yippeee.
smiles and laughs spontaneously.
making new sounds, especially now he loves playing with his tongue.
roll over to his side.
support his weight on his two yummy legs.

ok and tonnes more that i might need to blog everyday if i have to remember all those.
and he looks a lot like me. hehe. with his dimple and thin skin sampai nampak urat2 muka and everything.

i'm pleased that he is developing well, very much delighted, of course.
now which mom wouldn't. ;)

i've been referring to this book a lot:
well of course there are others yang bagus2 as well. thank you CikLin, nanti Aidan dah 1yo i pulang balik yer hehe.

his 2mo's jab few weeks ago went fine. Dr. Syed seperti biasa, before jab, "are you ready mummy? this one'll hurt a bit". hehe. skarang Mama dah kebal sket, takyah tutup telinga. :P

why and how kebal? oh, after experiencing those terrible days when Aidan was admitted @ KJMC due to his high fever. i was crying nonstop, sampai nurse pun tanya, "first child ke?". like so obvious kot. i nearly ordered an IV drip for myself, sebab nangis tanpa henti kan, kot2 dehydrate. well at least now we are much more wiser on how to react when he has a high temperature. not just tampal koolfever kan. but hopefully it wont happen again huhu.

saya tido buas. kroh kroh.

~confessions~

2011-01-18T19:50:00.002+08:00

~ i still have 3 or 4 kilos of weight clinging on me. not worried tho, as long as i still can fit into my old jeans and shirts back, im ok with it.

~ the only time i have to fb-ing is during bf-ing. it rhymes ha..

~ why oh why cotton on baby is opened only at sunway pyramid. i neeeeeeeeeed to shop there. its in my to-do list.

~ during my confinement period, i was more concerned on when i can walk straight again (in another word, when the wound will heal), instead of when i can eat like the old me again.

~ 2 weeks ago i didnt shut down the freezer door properly, and my whoooooole ebm is ruined. last week i was so depressed about it, my milk supply went down. this week hopefully everything will turn out better, insyaAllah.

~ i think i can lose weight by just walking at this new h*p campus. its so damn big!

~ i have to face the fact that Aidan is not going to go all chubby like a teddy bear although he eats like one. or maybe not yet. as long as paed said he's okay, then we're happy with it.

~can it get any worse~

2010-12-20T14:32:00.003+08:00

smalam lounging around at home doing nothing. like absolutely nothing. okla, except those normal houseworks, normal stuffs, normal tv series, normal food, normal normal. lucky me Aidan si mulut becok ada.

harini..

tiba2 my card wont work. like, hello, i can tap in but cant tap out. apakah. luckily the receptionist was very efficient, within couple of minutes dah bleh tap tap. dahla h*p campus ni nak gi memana kejenye tap tap jek. apsal tak pakai cap jari je, kan senang. moody moody.

already sampai di nursing room to pump today's first ebm. bukak beg, oh bestnya, the corong tetinggal kat rumah. best tak? best kan. paksa Izam datang hantar. abis esok Aidan nak makan apa????

isi2 some borang dengan sungguh2 coz my colleague cakap last week, "next week datang b4 10am ya, i want to kumpul from all to submit." siap kelam kabut datang ofis sampai tetinggal my breastpump parts tu. tengok2 beliau datang kul 3. aarrghh (fyi, h*p mengamalkan leisure at work, tak kisah datang kul bape asalkan keje jalan, depends on the position)

harini la kan segala task bagai nak datang. like hello, sila kesian orang yang nak closure. apa barang cuti2 wat keje.

harini Izam terlebih rajin nak hantar i pegi opis. dahla harini dari Klang (dont ask why). jadi harini Izam 20 juta kali datang opis. nasiblah.

dugaan sungguh hebat. semalam dan harini mood tarak baik. sila jangan wat hal. Aidan takpe.

~my two lavly boys~

2010-12-18T13:11:00.009+08:00

location : One Utama.
time : i think after zohor, lupe dah.
reason : mencari kasut pink.. tapi last2 kasut pink takde saiz (like duhhh apsal asyik takde saiz) and i bought another wedges instead.
Izam ngidam auntie annes. makanan wajibbeli jika singgah OU.

bubuh lam carrier, after a while, tetido. ah, good boy la Aidan.. pergh, tido atas lengan. macho kena maintain..

bising2 pun tido saja..

balik umah sambung tido. wahwah. lenkali pakai baju tidur jelah gi OU. :P

~dengan pantas..~

2010-11-24T21:15:00.003+08:00

1st day at home alone with Aidan.
agak kelam kabut.
ruang tamu penuh ngan barang dia.
campak2 je sume.
nak gi toilet pun laju laju jek.

Aidan agak bosan sebab biasa kat rumah IL ramai orang layan dia. kiranya xpenah la tak dilayan. so kalo tinggal lama sikit dia mula merengek. kena jenguk sekali sekala layan borak.

si comel Aidan ~

= dah pandai gugu gaga.
= dah bleh angkat kepala 90degrees kalo tiarapkan dia. actually dari lahir dia dah bleh angkat kepala. midwife nursery KJMC yang bagitau masa dia jaundice aritu.
= kalau dia bosan meniarap dia tolak sebelah tangan dan plupp!! terlentang sudah.

~Aidan's 1 month jab~

2010-11-04T17:12:00.000+08:00

good boy Aidan tak nangis panjang, cuma uwek uwek 2-3 kali pastu senyap bila Abah angkat. hehe. beriya Mama tutup telinga, kot2 la Aidan meraung and Mama tak kuat hati nak dengar kan. :P semoga Dr. Syed *yang dah tergelak pun* terhibur dengan gelagat kami hehe. nantikan kemunculan Izam and the geng lagi sebulan yer! :P

~Aidan's gonna be 1 month old tomorrow~

2010-11-04T00:11:00.000+08:00

kalo saya bleh makan kek, mungkin dah beli kek hehe.

anyway, Aidan is an amazing baby. sangat mudah dijaga.
he seldom cries, even kalo lambat dapat nenen pun, selalunya merengek jek. hehe. tapi Aidan kalau lapar, mak aih, terus lapar secara singa dengan tiba2. Mama akan kalut2, takmo dia stat nangis. takmo biasakan dia nangis baru dapat susu. nanti terbiasa sampai besar.

and its easy to know, kalo dia macam tak sedap duduk tapi taknak susu, maknanya either dia nak salin pampers or nak main or panas or nak burp or etc. hehe. rasa best main teka2 "what Aidan wants". ;)

cerita pampers, skarang ni macam2 brand Aidan pakai. hehe. so far, segala brand pun ok. alhamdulillah, kulit Aidan takde ruam2. jadi kami masih lagi tak stick to one brand, guna mana ada dulu. orang bagi, free sample, hospital bagi. yang kami beli adalah Huggies je stakat nih.

there were few days tiba2 sleep schedule dia berubah ikut US style. malam jaga siang tido. pergh, mencabar minda Mama. alhamdulillah, kami berjaya ubah balik, so now back to his old schedule, jaga before Subuh, main2, or lebih kepada Mama bebel sorang2, then tido balik few hours after that. that doesnt include bangun skali skala kejap2.

Aidan had stuffy nose few days ago. tapi dia sangat cool, takde nak ngamuk2 ke ape, padahal hidung sumbat2. Mama yang stress dengar bunyi hidung dia soksek hehe. we went to see his paed, he prescribed him with a nasal spray, alhamdulillah, skarang hidung dia much better now. masa paed tu 'servis' hidung Aidan, OMG, first time Mama and Abah dengar Aidan menangis secara hebat bila doktor picit2 hidung dia. Mama rasa nak nangis tapi control lagi. Abah kata, "rasa macam nak tendang je doktor tu, tapi dia doktor, mesti dia tahu apa dia buat.." back at home, tobat Mama taknak buat 'servis' tu, so Abah yang buat, aih, takde nak nangis2 pun..

4th Nov adalah Aidan's hepB appointment. tak tahu tahap tangisan Aidan macamana. harap2 Mama and Abah tabah. hehe.

~Aidan's journey into the world~

2010-10-19T20:13:00.003+08:00

4 Oct 2010 - Monday

as i was preparing to go to work that morning, i saw the bloody show. yeah, i was as calm as the snow (??), because probably no contractions or ruptured sac yet. so i didnt inform dear husband (sorry sayang) just yet. as far as i know, he'll jump out of his skin to my tiniest "ouch". so no need to be too dramatic over some bloody show on that bloody morning. hahaha. joking.

at office. started to feel uncomfortable - menstrual cramps - which i guessed the earliest contraction feel. i relieved them by walking around. i somehow had a feel that the next day could be the day, so i brought back my office stuffs; which i usually did every friday. hehe. furthermore, Cik Lin said, " cik lin pun after the bloody show, the next day je bersalin. i think you might be in the same situation as mine kot."

that night, i told Izam, and he was startled over the news, sebab i tak gitau pagi tu kan hehe. we decided to go for a check at KJMC. but first, we went for dinner and to The Curve to buy some stuff. around 10pm we went to KJMC. the midwife in charge said, "baru bukak sikittt..", so i was allowed to go back home.
pengalaman memalukan: terpaksa naik wheelchair. hospital procedure. huhu.

5 Oct 2010 - Tuesday

around 3am, the contractions came in stronger and more frequent, and Izam helped me to time the contractions when i was already in too much pain. both of us didnt sleep at all.

5-ish am we drifted off to sleep for a few minutes, i was so sleepy that i managed to sleep through few contractions! by 6am, the contractions were coming in 6 mins apart, so we prepared ourselves to go to KJMC.

7 am, we arrived at KJMC, and i was directly admitted to the labor room, clothes changed, and strapped to CTG. my cervix was already 3cm dilated. ada hati mintak jasa baik midwife nak brekfes dulu hehe tapi tak dapek laa. :P

8-ish am, Dr. Fatima (gynae) arrived, checked my cervix, already 4-5cm dilated, broke my sac, and the best part began hehe. Izam never left my side, except for a few minutes to grab a quick breakfast. darling husband, he was STANDING by my side, tak duduk pun, for hours, until i was wheeled into my room after the delivery.

11-ish am, my cervix was fully dilated. *too 'busy' to look at the clock at this time hehe*

in between, i remembered apologizing for any wrongdoings at Izam, and also berselawat for a few times, with Izam whispering together.

at one time, Dr. Fatima was worried when Aidan wont come out, she ordered the vacuum to be prepared, but suddenly changed her mind when Aidan tiba2 started crowning. good boy. :)

11.29 am, Aidan Iman was born. i was too weak, i dont even have the strength to cuddle him when he was put on my stomach. but i can hear his cry. :) i cried but no tears shed. giler kritikal punye penat. tak sempat breakfast ma, datang2 je trus admitted dalam labor room.

today is my 14th day of confinement, alhamdulillah, everything is going smooth. Aidan is such a darling, he's not a fussy baby, cool macam papa die, wakes up for his meal pun takde nak meraung2. he usually wakes up before Subuh, jadi saya ni otomatik telah jadi alarm clock untuk Izam yer hehe.

thanks a bunch for all the warm wishes, visits, gifts, presents, compliments and etc. :)

thanks a million to Papa for being there for us, ever since Aidan was a tiny 2-week old embryo in me.

~TOO adorable pillow speaker - get yours TODAY!!~

2010-10-10T22:01:00.002+08:00

Salam and Hello everyone!

I would like to introduce something CUTE, something FUN, something for EVERYONE ....

PILLOW SPEAKER!

This is a great tool for expecting mothers to listen to Quranic recitation with her baby while he/she is still in your womb.

~ you can do your house chores while listening to Quranic recitations/sing-along nursery rhymes together with your baby. aww..

~ you can fall sleep with it !! won't hurt ya a bit, it's a pillow right ??

~ when your baby is born, it's gonna be a great accessory for him/her.

~ can be used over and over and over and.......

~ there are few concerns on the baby's development too, if you put headphones directly to your belly; although there are few others who argue on this, I would say, as a mom-to-be, I would want the best for my baby, that's all. =)

A common misconception is that when you play music to your baby the best way would be to put headphones on your belly so the baby can hear. This is actually a bad idea. Since the baby is surrounded by amniotic fluid, this creates a good conductor for sound and putting head phone directly on the stomach can stress the baby out.

(snippet from http://obrienkatiejnzp.wordpress.com/essay-5-music-and-sounds-during-pregnancy/)

Also perfect as a gift, especially for kids (and your love one too!). And a perrrfect gadgety gift for a mom-to-be. :D

How to use : Audio-in: just plug in your electronic devices. Suitable for 3.5mm audio jack MP3 MP4 players. No need of batteries. No need of power plugs. Easy isn't it !!

It is made of Soft Plush and it is comfortable to touch.
The size is 27.5 x 28.2 x 4.2cm
Item location : Australia

Attached are 3 designs for you to choose.
Price for each one of them are RM 89.

Email to us for ordering! [shopwithnana@gmail.com]

Best regards,
Nana

** postal service will be charged according to local rate (MALAYSIA) and not inclusive of the product's price

** please be informed that once an order is being placed, there's no withdrawing, since the pillow is being ordered from Australia. so, serious buyers only ya. :)

STRAWBERRY ~ RM 89

RABBIT ~ RM 89

FRUIT ~ RM 89

~5 October 2010~

2010-10-07T13:49:00.002+08:00

alhamdulillah. i've safely delivered my baby son on 11.29 am. more stories soon. now is resting time for both mama and baby. :) with enormous help from darling papa. mwah.

~sweet pillow yang takde nama~

2010-10-05T13:27:00.000+08:00

helo helo! i should've put up this entry looooooong time ago. hehe.
presenting my adorable stoberi pillow speaker, a gift for my little one (and my future little ones also, insyaAllah) flown all the way from OZ. ;)

skarang my baby's recitation class dah bertambah, bukan sahaja dengan parents malah dengan 'ustaz mp3' juga. :P err tak ingat plok ustaz nama ape.

jadi sambil gosok baju juga bolehh...

..sumbat dalam baju kurung hahahah!
more pics will come!! kerana ia sungguh comel. :D

~checkup @ 39 weeks~

2010-09-30T13:48:00.003+08:00

macam2 update mengejut.

my weight gain sikit jek, and to compare side by side with baby's, macam i tak gain pape pun huhu. lose weight adela.
baby's weight now 3.4 kg. macam wow weee sape yang ber openhouse nih.. :P
(moral: next pregnancy jangan waktu raya hehe)

most worrying part adalah baby's still facing up. previous months dia dah face down, yang sujud style tu kan. dah perfecto dah. then since last month die stat face up plak aiyoo. suara mama merdu sangat kah? mogok taknak kuar kah? oh oh sedap makan openhouse yerr.

so due to the facing up thingy, i frequently have backaches (doc said due to my contractions so instead of feeling them up front, i feel them at the back instead) and the needs to pass stool often (belakang kepala baby tekan my rectum).

due to those worrying news, sampai terlupa mintak gambar scan. AGAIN. second time dah nih. lompong la album anda huhu..

other than that, bp ke air ketuban ke, everything's fine.
so anyway my next checkup will be on next Tuesday. will be strapped to CTG.

pssttt sayang, kuar esok bleh? pliss plisss

~decisions...decisions..~

2010-09-17T22:17:00.002+08:00

seems like nowadays decisions are getting harder to make. thinking too much? probably.
but most of it i think due to the effect it will bring to my surrounding. my kazoku especially.

so here comes the most unanticipated word of all. sacrifice. oh sungguh sweet sour bunyinya.

tak perlu sembelih lembu untuk membuat sacrifice ye.

but the fact that im not that burdened with the path that i have to choose or WILL choose (macam nampak tanda2 terpaksa choose path itu), surprise me. indeed, im calmer than i think i'll be. bertambah matang mungkin. hehe.

nevertheless. i'll just go with the flowwww, go on with the written plans.. let Allah decides, He knows whats best for me, for us. whatever will come, i'll embrace it with welcoming heart, insyaAllah.

ok abis citer matang.

3 weeks more to go. and im a bit disappointed that there's no sign that im gonna be in labor soon. my baby is full term already, 37 weeks ok. im trying to win my silent bet with my gynae, after she said, "normally first time mom bersalin lambat."

bags packed, clothes washed and kept. im still feeling as energetic as normal, which confused me a bit because normally i see preggy women waddling and panting and resting 80% a day, during their last few weeks of pregnancy. i got scolded many times by Izam because 'tak duduk diam' at home, attending to all house chores. oh yes, NESTING is one of the signs of the first stage of labor. but that's not convincing enough for me. i need moreeeeee.. tamak.

im doing all i can to get the baby to the enganged position. to start the lightening process asap. seperti, errr. berjalan?
im doing pelvic floor muscle exercise sekerap mungkin padahal takde kaitan. squatting toksah kiralah, padahal takde kaitan gak. ok both untuk relaxkan the perineum je. fine.

thanks mamatok for the akar fatimah. ;)

~chef Izam in da house~

2010-09-17T08:00:00.011+08:00

selamat hari raya aidilifitri!! :D

kita mulakan dengan cara2 membuat kuah kacang.
mari sama2 mengkagumi suami saya sebab tiba2 tengah2 malam raya eve, beliau offer diri nak masak kuah kacang. of course la, dengan bantuan MIL, chef utama. hehe.
tapi resipi tak berapa lengkap haha sebab tuan amik gambo bizi keluar masuk dapur. :P

goreng kacang tanah. bila rasa penat dan bosan bleh gilir2 dengan tuan amik gambar.

sejukkan kacang yang digoreng tadi in styleee

tumbuk halia. barang tumisan lain dah di blend. gaya dah ada tuh.

blend kacang tanah ikut citarasa orang yang memblend. sebarang ajuan pendapat tidak dihirau.

buh lam periuk dengan senyuman.

campur ngan santan then masak sampai pekat.

hal2 tumis mentumis dan yang seterusnya kita serahkan pada chef utama. hehe. hoho.

lelepas tu buh ayam potong dadu sket nak kasi ada lauk, air asam jawa, garam gula bla bla bla. sila tahu sendiri haha.
ok sayang pasni bleh masak kat umah plak eh. saya rebus nasi impit jek hoho. <3

~Aidilfitri TwentyTen~

2010-09-16T14:47:00.031+08:00

this year we only celebrated aidilfitri at Izam's family at Klang.
to go back to Kelantan sounds too 'adventurous' for me, considering my current situation now. 9 months pregnant. tunggu hari, bak kata orang.
i realized the thing that i missed most - well, apart from my huha family of course - was the fooooooooooood. probably because i grew up surrounded by the spread of luxurious kelantanese food every raya, that made me dreamt of kuzi (always and forever my favorite) and the oh-so-sinful kuih muih.
dah pesan kat Umi tapau kuzi bawak balik KL hehe.

so anyway, simply:

1st day
~ solat raya di masjid Shah Alam. salam2 raya, breakfast, amik2 gambar. ~ solat jumaat kat masjid UPM then ziarah kubur arwah opah kat situ. saya duduk lam keta je pun.

2nd day
~ gerak balik Kg Balun @ Slim River. balik hari je.
~ raya rumah Mak Long, Pak Lang, Pak Boim. ~ then on the way balik Klang, terjah rumah Uda+Sab and Abg Yahya+Alang. 3rd day
~ gerak balik Ramuan China Besar @ Melaka, umah Pak Cu. balik hari je.

6th day
~ balik KD. then raya rumah Cik Nah @ Shah Alam.7th day
~ family Izam datang terjah rumah.

ok itu saja dulu stakat nih. ni pun bertahun nak siap huhu..

~checkup @ 36 weeks~

2010-09-06T22:10:00.004+08:00

everytime during checkup i will be very much worried about baby's weight.
today the weight is 2.8 kg. ok la, doc kata 2.7 kg but i round up to 2.8 kg. up sket.
half of my weight gain goes to baby. jadi harini telah menerima ceramah free panjang lebor oleh doc hehehe.

no carbo intake during night.
pregnant women's digestion system are much slower than a normal person. 6 hours to digest whereby normally it'll takes around 3/4 hours.
doc keeps saying if baby's too big will be very hard to deliver (doc is so concern about this, am i a small framed person? because orang lain rilek jek bsalin normal hohoho dasar degil)
dont drink all those pregnancy formula anymore. minum low fat milk je. well actually i stopped dah lama haha sebab malas nak buat.
doc changed my obimin to retafer (iron).

i think this is because of my lifestyle change for this Ramadhan. not blaming the holy month, but myself, since i think i exercise less i.e jalan pi lunch jejauh. masuk keje duduk kat krusi sampai balik. pastu lepas sahur tido hahaha. see see i put the blame on me.

anyway, baby's head is still facing downwards, alhamdulillah, harap2 stay sampai labor.
though doc mentioned something about, "face up". i think i read somewhere that the best position for labor is baby's face facing my tulang belakang. atau memang harus begitu. mari korek balik buku2 pregnancy hehe.

my next checkup is in 3 weeks' time. Izam runsing, dia kata lambat sangat. hehe. darling Izam mwah.

oh, i would like to thank my aunts Cik Lin and Kak Aisyah for being tremendously helpful in guiding me and filling me in with infos regarding BF. they are my BF gurus. hehe.

~sekut rayo~

2010-09-04T21:09:00.002+08:00

mood buat biskut raya..

silalah datang skarang. raya minggu depan dah. barang dah beli. ada gak wat kek jek.

~lapsing into panic mode~

2010-09-04T06:08:00.002+08:00

can i say that its cute before anything else? hehe.
tapi kesian gak.

nearly everyday he asks whether i have finished packing my hospital bag + baby bag or not. which the answer is actually NO. there are few stuffs that i havent bought yet. such as baby wipes. dont ask why dalam banyak2 benda wipes yang tak beli lagi.

if i produce the tiniest sound ever pun, he will be all alert and wide awake (if asleep) pastu panik2 "apsal, sakit ke? ok ke?". i did try to be as silent as possible, tapi kadang2 kalo dah mengah2 tu terkeluar jugak bunyi huhu.

ada skali tu i was lying on the bed doing sudoku (sudoku has invaded my life uhuk) and he was outside in front of his lappy. pastu tiba2 baby started to hiccup, oh the comelest ever. takut plak kalo begerak kang dah stop hiccups, so i jerit panggil hubby untuk dia rasa. cian hubby, bunyi tergesa2 gila masuk bilik "kenapa kenapa??" "takk, nak awak rasa baby hiccups.." "laa ingatkan apsal la tadi.."

there are times he will ask, "ada rasa sakit nak bersalin tak?"........ dok sabar jupe baby yer?

this one is quite often, "awak rasa lagi ke sakit2 perut tu?" (he's referring to braxton hicks. ni sebab dah kantoi skali kat Melaka itu hari)
"ada tapi biase2 jek..takde papelahh tu.." (tak baik tipu suami)

which reminds me, smalam la BH paling tersakit dalam dunia. tengah baring depan tv, tiba2 BH melawat. pastu dari tengah baring telentang cuba untuk mengiring ke kanan (nak bangun sebenarnya), OMG sakit gila trus terkaku dalam posisi paling awkward, in between telentang and mengiring, 45 degrees gitu. slalu belagak kan, kalo tengah sakit BH bleh lalala sambil kemas rumah lagi.

suami tiada di rumah, sibaik. tapi ni kalo beliau baca kantoi. hehe. nak tulis gak tak kira..

~TFing with hubster~

2010-08-30T12:52:00.002+08:00

after i found out that TF's closing late during this fasting month, lepas balik dari Klang smalam we went there around 11 pm to cool ourselves down @ Sunway Giza's branch.

a.k.a saya mahu eskrem dalam kuantiti yang banyak tanpa runsing terhadap kenaikan berat badan secara mendadak hehe. *skali naik jugak. ah tak kira, nanti nak kena pose ais stahun*

my healthy froyo and Izam's not-so-healthy froyo ngehngehngeh

mari serbu lagi. sekian terima kasih.

~sayangkan bidang, tinggal tinggalkan~

2010-08-27T21:57:00.004+08:00

i used to be in the storage field. seperti Izam skarang.
storage as in (for those yang non IT peeps) yang macam external hard disk tu, tapi yang besau punya storage like, millions of terabytes punya, bentuk ala2 server, siap ada building datacenter sendiri lagi.
it was the best field i've ever been in. ever. mungkin sebab dapat teammates yang best2, trainers yang best2, environment pun best. and i fell in love with the stuffs i was doing.

oh i so love those days, bila saya antara yang terhebat dalam team padahal masa perkenalkan diri adalah, "i graduated from UPM with a degree in network computer." *bunyi cengkerik*
trainer macam, "how about your work experience, any experience in storage environment?"

takde cikgu...

orang lain siap, 4-5 tahun experience kat sana, 10 tahun kat sini. hohoh. bepeluh gak masuk training tu. dahla sorang2 pompuan.

masa tu semua orang sungguh geram ngan saya kerana menjadi kesayangan trainer muahahaha. saya kemukakan soalan pun dapat pujian, siap dapat hadiah lagi, camne tuh. :P

well itu dulu..

lepastu move up. so bye bye kerja shift yang fun dan exciting dan adventurous, hello to kerja office hour yang boring dan stress dan matang. hehe. jujur nyehh..

after almost 3 years meninggalkan bidang storage, memang banyak saya tertinggal keretapi. macam2 terms yang aneh2 muncul. walaupun selalu updated dengan cerita2 dari Izam. well, faham masa tu jela. hehe. pastu lupa balik sebab tak apply kot.

Izam memang rajin bercerita pasal hal ofis. harini buat apa, harini isu apa, storage mana buat hal, update saya pasal gosip2 terkini di ofis opss. walhal, tak semua saya faham. tapi baguslah kan, ini yang dinamakan sharing is caring. or, sharing your ups and downs. menceriakan rumahtangga. isu2 ofis saya? tak sehebat isu ofis Izam hehe. saya bergelumang dengan report, analisis, report, analisis. tapi kami hari2 mesti akan bertukar2 cerita pasal kerja. jadi habit. macam, saya mengadu hal kat Izam, Izam mengadu hal kat saya. nanti baby mesti sangat terer pasal storage ngan reporting and analysis wow. hari2 dengar papa and mummy bebel. hoho.

so... your first toy nak sebijik storage harga seratus ribu ke? mintak kat papa.

i love you both~

~when i'm in the upset mode~

2010-08-25T18:35:00.004+08:00

serba serbi jadi tak kena :

~ notebook ini dah suka buat bunyi2 kuat ala2 bunyi kapalterbang. sejak install mcafee few months ago ganti symantec. selalu tolerable je, tapi harini rasa macam nak nangis so last2 restart notebook and pergi solat, dengan harapan bila amik air smayang dan mengerjakan solat akan rasa kurang upset.

~ tiba2 rasa macam alahai sayunya tengok newsletter from air asia and mas datang bertubi2 (padahal sejak awal tahun dapat tapi skarang ni tengah upset kan, over sket). promo tu promo ni. tergoda jiwa raga tapi sedar diri yang tengah sarat.. plus, kalau nak pegi bercuti pun kena tunggu baby about 5-6 months ke dulu.. cian dia kecik2 parents nak heret jalan jauh2. so....have to wait for about hmm 8 months? a year jela trus.

~ menyampah dengan kedai mynews bawah ni sebab hari2 pun kena singgah beli food untuk berbuka. default food : air kotak dua + roti. harini sebab dah bosan asyik bli fruit juices and susu jek, jadi tukar soya plak. air masak amik kat pantry, free je..

serba serbi pun nak :

~ mahu tutti frutti. dengan kadar yang segera.
~ mahu pecan butterscotch cake @ secret recipe. dengan kadar yang segera.
~ mahu cadbury bar 1kg yang seperti saya drooled at, i think few years ago. tiba2 tringat balik.
~ mahu menapak mengukur OU macam selalu buat. tak buat sekarang sebab bulan puasa kot.
~ i want to go shopping. shopping like, really SHOPPING. but alas, gaji tak masuk lagi. sob sob.
~ mahu bercuti (again). cuti selama sebulan macamtu. confinement lambat lagi ah.

huhu..

sesambil browse around cari nursery yang sesuai untuk baby later. cian baby kecik2 umur 2 bulan~ dah anta nursery, tapi nak buat camne, we both have to go to work sweetie. i dont survey babysitter unless highly recommended by someone that i trust. survey for both areas damansara (dekat dengan ofis Izam) and cyberjaya (dekat dengan ofis saya). maid? blom masanya. kot. tengok camne.
btw i come accross this one and love it, they have cctv and you can access the cam from office. tapi jauh la plak dari rumah...
http://www.smallwonder.com.my/

~checkup @ 33 weeks~

2010-08-18T14:29:00.001+08:00

kami agak kecewa kerana terlupa nak mintak gambar scan baby.
memang scan baby, tapi since baby main nyorok2 plak, die wat stail sujud die as usual, just nampak tulang blakang and kepala jek, so doc pun tak print out the image, kami pun tak mintak sebab dah ada scan pic stail tuh.
pastu baru tringat, oh, the details tu yang penting. you know, berat, EDD, CRL segala. nak letak dalam album. aih. kecewa lagi nih. but nvm.... *sambil kecewa*

anyway, perkara yang paling dinanti2 kan dan didebar2 kan adalah, berat baby.
my weight takyah runsing, setiap minit menimbang berat je kejenye kat umah. and tak bergerak pun ever since masuk bulan puasa.
so baby's weight @ 33 weeks adalah 2.1 kg. aih baby, makan banyak nampak.

perkembangan baby so far:
~ pergerakan makin gagah. kadang2 bergoyang satu badan bila die menendang/menumbuk/etc. wah wah.
~ eh lupe, ever since last checkup, kepala baby dah kat bawah (vertex). so harap2 maintain sampai bersalin yer.

cita2 Izam skarang adalah nak dengar jantung baby dengan meletakkan telinga di perut saya. bleh dengar ke camtu? :P

so far saya nak membuat kerja2 rumah larat je lagi, cuma kalo berdiri lama2 secara statik sakit tumit. hehe.

berpuasa for me alhamdulillah berjalan lancar. tambah2 plak skarang saya telah masuk musim "tak tahu nak makan apa", so kalo pergi bazar ramadhan pun, just beli nasi jek. kuih2 buat sendiri kat rumah lagi best hehe. no more such thing as beli berplastik2.

~1st week of Ramadhan~

2010-08-16T09:54:00.002+08:00

a few days di awal Ramadhan kami (me and Izam) tak dapat bersahur and berbuka bersama. normal bagi kami, ever since we are married. since Izam's working hours are not the same as mine.

the 1st weekend, as usual, kami berbuka di rumah parents and inlaws.

Sabtu @ Kajang.

~ my youngest sis, Amani, tengah minum air kotak ribena, saya tak prasan, so saya tanya, "kakak pose arini?" dia jawab dengan serius, "pose! slurp slurp..". LOL. guling sekejap gelak.

~ saya bawak kek batik. taksampai seminit abis hehe. feveret diorang tuh.

~ the kids asked, "mane baby Kakli? tido ko?". i said, "aah tido. dalam perut." pakat muka kecewa. konfius, diorang ingat i dah deliver ke? :P

~ umi and papa gave me kain batik sepasang, and baju batik untuk Izam satu. wow weee. and ini paling penting, kain batik untuk lepas bersalin. sarawak mari. kain batiknye lawa, pakainye macamla reti hehe. dan juga makanan berbungkus2.

~ ah miss them kids. before raya insyaAllah balik Kajang lagi nak bagi duit raya plak coz i wont be going back to Kelantan this year, langsung. sarat nih..

Ahad @ Klang.

~ mak dapat tahu Izam nak balik, terus masak ayam masak lemak cili padi dengan banyak, kegemaran Izam. hehe. suke sungguh Izam. :P sampai kitorang tapau untuk sahur esoknya hehe.

~ dapat jumpa Yumna, banyak cakap dah skarang. sebut mak ngah (me) pak ngah (Izam) cam same je bunyi hehehe.

~ kami memborong tepung pelita kegemaran mak kat bazar ttdi. serius sedap tepung pelita dia (tepung pelita paya jaras)!

~~~~~

harini tak tahu nak makan apa untuk berbuka. uhuk.

~harijadi suami tercinta~

2010-08-10T09:15:00.004+08:00

can i say, the celebration started the day before that? we went for a movie after Izam picked me up from work. i bought the tix "the last airbender - 3D". i even chose the twin seats so that i wont have to bother other people with my bulging stomach, if ever we arrived late. :P budi bahasa amalan kita cewah.

movie was...okay. maybe my expectation was too high. since i've watched the cartoon series before. Izam seperti biasa, dapat popcorn large satu, diam jek, no komplen2 hehe.

exactly 12 am 10august2010, he received a call from his sisters, nyanyi2 happy birthday hehe. i think i remembered once at office, Izam was still working here, we're in the same shift, night shift at that time, and it was his birthday, and his sisters called him to sing him a birthday song. ;) sungguh comel.

eh mestila i pun nyanyi. lagu tema untuk hari tu kan hehe.

i was quite nervous, because, my plan was to bring him to the targeted shop and ask him to choose his present himself. i dont want to buy something that I like but not to his liking. so luckily we're having our lunch at Delicious Cafe @ OU. targeted shop was @ OU.

after lunch, i managed to heret him to the shop hehe and he was surprised at first but later on relented, and afterwards teruja. :P it is soooo satisfying to see him happy with his birthday present.

mwahmwah love you sweetie.
im glad you love your present.
im glad you love my new dress.
im glad you've had a lovely time on your birthday.
im glad we're still like what we were before even after nearly 2 years of marriage.
mission accomplished *love*

~31 weeks and counting~

2010-08-08T07:55:00.003+08:00

this week baby has been quite active lately, menendang sampai badan i bergoyang2 hehe. but it doesnt hurt at all, nada, i dont even wake up if baby tendang2 masa i tengah tido. tido mati hoho..

baby usually wakes up pagi2 lepas i solat Subuh, then later goes back to sleep afterwards sebab diam jek. kalau weekdays, kat office die stat berguling menendang balik. until petang kot. tak prasan hehe. but malam depends.

most of the times bila baby tendang2 rasa geli hehe. and sometimes i feel like baby is playing hide and seek in between my ribs. main kira2 ribs mummy ye sayang? nanti dah lahir gitau eh brapa ribs mummy ada. :D

there was once, i was praying, tengah baca al-fatihah tiba2 i bersin. kuat gakla hehe. then instantly i felt a jolt in my belly (tangan kat belly kan) and i nearly giggled. mesti baby tekezut camtu, syok2 tido (dia diam je before that) tiba2 i bersin. ops, ilang khusyuk 10 saat. :P

latest checkup, bila scan baby was asleep. tak larat dah doc goyang2 perut, taknak jugak bangun. siap guling2 pastu sorok muka celah uri (uri ke?) plak tu wahwah. so in the end, doc snap gambo idung jela hehe. other than that, both baby and mummy are doing fine alhamdulillah. despite mummy gaining weight rapidly every month hehe. cuak cuak. but impressive. :P

Izam is having a gooood time talking to baby all the time. eventhough I am carrying baby, tapi Izam yang banyak cakap ngan baby hehe.

im nearly finished with washing all of baby's clothes or anything that is made of cloth. macamla banyak sangat, its just that im used to washing our clothes according to color tones, so terbawak2 ke baju2 baby yang sikit itu. testing dulu, kalau baju2 baby cayang jenis tak turun warna (yang light color la, yang dark tu sah2 asing) then later bleh campur skali ngan white ones. Izam pantang nampak baju2 baby (kat rumah la, kat kedai bersikap matang hehe), mesti nak giggle2 sorang2. ada sedikit over excited di situ. :P

baby cot dah pasang, Izam pasang while i was at work and he's off shift lepak kat umah. dah position siap2 sebelah katil hehe. tu jela, mattress cadar bantal sume simpan lagi.

alamak ngantuk. nak tido.

~Craft Haven @ OU~

2010-08-04T01:10:00.004+08:00

i've been searching high and low for a shop that sells cross stitch and knitting stuffs. well, priority goes to cross stitch as its not as complicated as knitting AND i have a cross stitch mini project to be done at least before i deliver.

my SIL Sab suggested to go to Macy, she said they do sell those things, but since i'm not sure if Macy Ikano is as equipped as the HQ Macy @ Sri Kembangan so i don't really go and check it out hehe.

then last week i browsed thru OU directories and noticed two shops; Craft Haven and Beadbox.

straightaway searched for them both, found Craft Haven and nearly did some somersaults in excitement. i found my cross stitch stuffs!!!!!

unfortunately, i forgot to check out if they have knitting stuffs. :P too excited picking out the threads (thread ke panggil hehe).

ok saja ni FYI hehe. rasa2 ramai dah tahu kot. i baru tahu coz i jarang jalan2 kat area bridge to old wing tu.